Tomorrow
by AiLing
Summary: My version of what happens after the season 5 finale. How do the surgeons react when a tragedy hits them? Now in first person. Yet another POV now up!Read & Review, pretty please? ;
1. Prologue Between Life and Death

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or any of the characters on the show.

_**Ok, I discovered this website not too long ago, and for the past couple of weeks, I enjoyed reading all your creative works here. So I decided to start one of my own here. :D This is my first shot at a Grey's fanfic. I have always loved writing, but the demands of life as a medical student caught up with me. But now since it's my 3 week vacation, I decided to do start a fanfic here. **_

_**This story is set right after the tearjerking season 5 finale...and what I envision to happen after that. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

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_**Prologue**_

_**Flashback (this is extracted from this last few moments of the season 5 finale, so I do not own this)**_

Meredith smiled down at the battered patient lying on the bed as she adjusted his tubes.

'Hey, looks like you made a new friend there. Guess that's what happens when you take a bus for somebody.'

' I know this is scary, but you do have a great team out there.' she held his hands and tried to reassure him.

Noticing that he was trying to write something on her palm, she gave him a pen, but he didn't have the strength to hold it.

'You wanna try to write again?' Meredith encouraged him.

He resorted to tracing his fingers on her palm.

0...0....7

Meredith frowned in concentration.

'0..0....7...?' 'Double 0 7'

Suddenly, the realization hit her like an electric shock and her whole body went numb.

'Oh God....OH GOD' she screamed.

'It's George, it's George...' Meredith cried out, running down the corridors of the hospital.

'John Doe is George!!'

After the initial shock reaction, the surgeons rushed into action.

'I got you, O'Malley, you hear me?' Owen said. 'We'll fix this,just stay with us!'

'BP is dropping!' cried Meredith.

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'You remembered?' Alex's voice was filled with excitement as he entered Izzie's room.

It had been a frustrating day for him, filled with post-its, and his new wife not being able to recall anything, not even things that occurred minutes ago.

'Of course I do'. She smiled. 'I know you love me too much to shoot me, even if I asked you to.'

'My stupid decorticate brain is coming back'.

Alex hugged his wife tightly, not wanting to let go.

Suddenly, she went limp....

'Iz....Iz...Izzie' Alex cried, shaking her limp body, wanting it to just be a joke.

'Izzie, look at me. Open your eyes!' He cried out in exasperation.

Cristina, Bailey and the Chief were in Izzie's room seconds later.

'We couldn't control the arrythmias' cried Alex.

'Pressure is dropping'.

'Alex' said Cristina 'She signed a DNR- she knew this would happen, that's why she signed it!'

'I don't give a crap what she signed.'

'It's not what she wants'.

'Get a crash cart!' Alex cried out while performing compressions on Izzie.

'Screw the DNR!' the Chief proclaimed after a moment of silence. They resorted to defribillating her, as she flatlined. Alex began to cry.

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Izzie stood in the elevator, wearing the beautiful pink gown which she wore to prom, the night her ex-fiance Denny died.

The doors of the elevator opened to reveal....... George O'Malley, clad in his army uniform, and sporting a brand new haircut.

For a while, the two best friends and ex-lovers just stood and stared at each other. Then a smile formed on Izzie's lips.

_**End of flashback**_

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Hope you enjoyed the last few minutes of the season 5 finale in written form. ;)

The next chapter would continue from where season 5 left off.


	2. Life After Death

**Chapter 1 **

**Life after Death**

For a moment, they stared at each other, not knowing what to say or do.

Finally, Izzie broke the silence.

'You look more handsome then ever, George'.

George smiled at her.

' Everyone in the entire hospital was looking for you. They wanted to persuade you to change your mind about joining the army. Alex told me. I remember.' she smiled back at him.

'What made you join the army anyway?' she added when he kept his silence.

She could hear voices calling her name in the background, but she chose to ignore them.

'I just wanted to do something different with my life'. George finally answered. 'I wanted to show people I am capable of doing extraordinary things, I wanted to prove to people that I'm a much stronger person than I seem.'

'But you are an extraordinary person, George. If others can't see it, screw them.

'Iz...I love you and I always will. Remember that I'll always be there for you no matter where you are.'

' I love you too.' she smiled back at him.

'What a radiant smile' he thought.

The expression on his face suddenly changed.

'Iz...I've gotta go now.....time is running out for me.'

Izzie was puzzled. Where was he going to?

'Where are you going?'

'To the afterlife. To meet Denny. We're going to hang out together'.

'But...you cannot go! You cannot leave me alone here!' she cried.

'Iz....I have to go'. George said softly.

'Let me go with you.'

'No...you have to stay in the elevator, you cannot follow me'.

'Why not?' Izzie was a stubborn person at times.

She began to walk towards George.

'No!' George cried. 'Don't step out of the elevator! If you do, there's no turning back!'

Izzie hesitated for a moment before continuing to walk towards him.

'No..no...Iz....listen to me. You cannot follow me, you understand? You need to go back down there, you need to go back to the real world.'

'But I want to follow you to the afterlife.'

'Iz...' George pleaded. 'You hear that noise? It's Alex crying. Do you want to leave him alone? He's been through so much already....his broken past, Ava and now you.... do you really want to do this to him? He'll be broke and devastated if you leave, he'll never recover from it. He loves you so much, Iz. He cares so much about you. Meredith and Cristina too.... they'll lose a friend, Meredith has just recovered from her therapy sessions, she's becoming a stronger person now. She'll get all dark and twisty again if you leave!'

Izzie stopped and stood still at the edge of the elevator. Maybe George was right, maybe she needed to give life a second chance.

'Promise me you'll always be with me. And say hi to Denny for me'. Tears formed in her eyes.

Suddenly, George started to fade away.

'No...no...' Izzie cried, stretching her right arm to reach out to him. But of course she couldn't feel him.

George was waving goodbye and fading slowly into the bright light. Soon, he disappeared completely.

Izzie could feel the elevator moving downwards.

'I see some activity! A V-fib!' Bailey cried out suddenly, back in Izzie's hospital room.

Bailey, Cristina and the Chief jerked their heads towards the heart monitor. Indeed, she wasn't flatlining anymore.

'Oh my God' Alex sobbed and rushed to Izzie's side.

'Iz...can you hear me? I know you can. Listen, I love you so much and I promised to never hurt you anymore. I know I'm such a jerk, such an a**hole, I know I shouldn't have screamed at you earlier on. I'm so sorry. Iz...come back to me, please?'

There was no response.

Just as Alex was about to give up, Izzie's eyes suddenly fluttered.

Alex cupped her face with his hands.

'Iz...open your eyes for me?'

Her eyes struggled to open.

She mumbled something inaudible.

'What is it? Can you repeat what you're trying to say?' this time it was Cristina.

Izzie's lips trembled.

'G....George' finally the word came out.

Alex frowned at his wife calling out another guys name.

'George is fine...Sheperd and Hunt are working on him. You don't worry about him first ok?' Bailey said soothingly.

'George' this time it was louder.

Alex was not having any of this. His wife had literally returned from the dead, and she might have mistaken him for his colleague.

'You get some rest, ok?' Alex kissed her on the forehead as he followed the others out of her room.

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'Time of death – 2 pm' Derek Sheperd announced solemnly.

Owen Hunt covered his face with his hands and leaned against the wall.

'It's my fault' he muttered to himself. 'It's all my fault. I shouldn't have influenced him, I shouldn't have encouraged him to join the army.'

'It's not your fault, Owen' Derek said softly. 'This is what he wanted, there's nothing you could've done'.

Meanwhile, Meredith stood in shocked silence, her face pale.

Then she started swaying from side to side.

Alarmed, Derek rushed to her aid.

'Mer, are you ok?'

'George, my George. He was my roommate, my sweet roommate. He put up with my antics. He even had a crush on me at one point, and I failed to notice. I brushed him off. And now he's gone...'

She let out a sob.

'I didn't know he was the John Doe. I should've known..'

Derek placed an arm over her shoulder.

'It's ok Mer, he knows. He knows that you're his friend and you care for him'.

Her sobs became louder and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably.

'I...can't....I can't... This isn't happening...'

She rested her head on his chest while he soothed her dirty blonde hair.

George O'Malley was dead. He died after taking a bus for a stranger. Was it all worth it- they wonder? How were they going to tell Izzie?

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So yeah....this is the first chapter of the story. Hope you enjoyed it! :) I have yet to decide how long this story will be...so we'll see how it goes from here ;)

'


	3. The Aftermath

**Thanks for the reviews! I've decided to do at least another chapter :)**

The sky was dull and cloudy, resembling the sombre mood at the funeral. Many hospital staff were there, attendings, residents, interns, nurses. All clad in black and wearing a solemn look on their faces. Today, George was going to be buried, to be laid to rest in peace.

His body had been laid down in the expensive coffin made of oakwood. Many flowers and cards were placed on top of it.

George's mother was there, her eyes red and puffy from having cried her heart out all night. 'my George, my George' she was muttering to herself. Her other sons were too distraught themselves to comfort her. Meredith was sitting next to Derek, sobbing quietly. Cristina was sitting solemnly next to Owen, lost in her own thoughts. Bailey and the Chief were there too. Callie wanted to go, but was called to an emergency surgery at the last minute. Alex decided to stay with Izzie, who wasn't fit enough to travel out of the hospital yet. They decided to let her regain her strength first, before breaking the bad news to her.

The priest went through all the rituals. Then he read a brief summary of the life of George O Malley.

It was time for the eulogy. Meredith, who was supposed to read the eulogy shook her head. No, she couldn't do it. She was afraid she would just break down in front of everyone and embarrass herself.

A firm hand patted her shoulder.

'Let me do it' Bailey whispered. Meredith just nodded in reply.

Now Miranda Bailey was standing in front of the crowd. She drew in a deep breath, telling herself to put a brave and strong face for this. She owed it to him.

'George...' her voice faltered and she cleared her throat. 'George Omalley was one of my original five interns. My Fab Five. I admit the very first time I saw him, I wondered if he would be able to make it. He seemed so fresh so full of innocence. He was the one who had to struggle the most in the beginning. But he proved himself to be made of strong will and determination. He never gave up. He never quit. He fought hard all the way. He fought to beat the odds stacked against him. He fought to prove others wrong. He fought to be allowed to retake his intern exam. He was a fighter.'

Her voice trailed off again, and she wiped away a tear.

'He was the one who was with me during the birth of my son, Tucker. He told me that I could do it because I was Bailey. He....was always so kind, so supportive, so encouraging...'

At that point, she knew she couldn't continue any longer.

At 10am on the 23rd August 2009, George Omalley was being laid to rest. He left behind thousands of sweet memories and many loved ones who cherished him. He died a hero, as far as everyone is concerned.

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**Back in Seattle Grace Hospital**

Alex Karev was fast asleep in a chair beside his wife's bed. His head was rested on his shoulders, in a very uncomfortable position.

'Alex....' it was a whisper.

'Alex!' he jerked up from his sleep.

'Yes?' he asked rubbing sleep off from his eyes.

'Where is everyone else? The entire hospital seems to be eerily quiet today. Has something happened?' Izzie Stevens asked her husband.

Alex paused. Should he tell her just yet?

'Nothing' he finally lied.

Izzie looked at him in the eye.

'Alex, you're my husband, I know you better than you think. You're hiding something from me. What is it?'

'George....' he finally said after a long pause.

'He's dead isn't he?' she asked calmly.

He just nodded his head.

'I know' she said quietly.

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'Hey Callie, do you have minute?' the perky blonde haired Arizona Robbins asked her girlfriend.

'No' the pretty dark haired Latino replied, not looking up from the nurses counter.

Arizona sighed. Ever since it was revealed that George was John Doe, Callie had been avoiding her like she was an infectious disease.

'Callie...I know this is hard on you.....you can always talk to me about it, you know?'

Silence.

'Callie....if you don't want to talk about it, I understand. I know what you're going through.'

'What do you know!! You weren't even here all this while. You weren't here when I got married to George, you weren't here when our marriage turned sour. What do you know, Arizona?' gosh, it felt good to vent out all the feelings bottled up inside her all this while.

Arizona was stunned by the sudden outburst.

'Calliope...'

'Don't Calliope me!' at that, Callie stormed off.

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Derek Sheperd returned home that night, exhausted after a 5 hour craniotomy. All he needed was a warm shower, and to snuggle up to his fiance- no...his wife.

He gasped at the sight that greeted him.

Meredith Grey was sprawled out on the sofa, a bottle of tequila still in her hands. On the table beside her were several more empty bottles. She was obviously konked out.

He shook his head at the sight of her and proceeded to carry her up to their bedroom.

'Will she ever recover from this?' he thought to himself.

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Meanwhile, at the hospital, Alex Karev woke up from his sleep for the fifth time. He just couldn't have a good night's sleep...he awoke every now and then, subconsciously afraid that Izzie would suddenly leave him when he was asleep. He would never forgive himself if that happened.

Izzie's bed was empty.

'Izzie?' he called out, wondering if she was still somewhere in the room.

No reply.

'Izzie?' The room was eerily quiet.

He opened the bathroom door and peeked in there. Nobody.

Where was she?

'Izzie!!' Alex cried as he dashed out of the room in search of his wife.

Where had Izzie disappeared to?

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**Hope you enjoy this chapter! :) Reviews are very much appreciated!**


	4. My dear wife Alex's POV

_Thanks Mcalison! ___

_**So I've decided to write in first person from now on, telling the story from the point of view of our doctors. Their reactions to George's death and how they deal with it in their own ways. First up is Alex Karev.**_

**Alex POV**

I rush out of Izzie's room and begin running along the corridors of the Seattle Grace oncology unit in a hurried frenzy. Nurses and other doctors stare at me, probably thinking to themselves that I am some kindof madman, but I don't care. All I care about right now, at this very moment, is to find my wife. My beloved Izzie. I screech to a stop at the nurses station, and am greeted by four bewildered looking nurses.

'Did you happen to see Dr. Isobel Stevens by any chance?'

The four of them stare back blankly at me. Ahh….screw them.

I scurry down the corridors past more rooms, when I suddenly bump into someone.

A stack of files tumble down to the floor.

'Hey, watch where you're going, Evil Spawn' says a familiar voice.

I look up to see Cristina Yang staring at me, hands on her hips.

'Cristina, did you see Izzie?' I ask hurriedly.

'Umm….aren't you with her 24/7?' came the reply.

I am annoyed by her tartness.' I feel asleep. I'm not a robot'.

I head towards the Surgical unit. Maybe she is hiding in one of our favourite hangouts- the Oncall room. Or the storage room. She has to be here somewhere right?

Then I see her. She has dressed herself up, in a pink flowered shirt and blue jeans. Her hair is neatly covered by a yellow scarf. Apparently, she had unplugged the IV line, but left the branula sticking into the veins of her left hand.

'Izzie!' I call out. She turns around and smiles at me. Her face looks paler than normal.

'Izzie- where do you think you're going?' I ask angrily.

'To see George. To visit his grave.'

'What? Iz….you're still recovering, you just woke up yesterday, you're in no condition to leave your room, let alone go to a graveyard!'

'But I have to go'. She replies quietly.

I am seething in anger. Does she think she can play games with me? I'm her husband, she has to obey my orders.

She suddenly starts to sway from side to side and she grabs my arm for support.

'George is my best friend'. she mutters after she regains her composure.

I call a nurse to bring a wheelchair. I just cannot say no to this beautiful woman I call my wife.

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My blue Chevolet pulls up at the Seattle City Graveyard. The morning sky is bright outside, such a contrast to my current mood. I hold the door open for Izzie and she slowly steps out.

The place is eerily quiet, with the soft gentle breeze rustling the green leaves of the surrounding trees.

I lead Izzie to the place where George was buried. There sits a grey tombstone, with plenty of flowers of all types and colours lying in front of it. From a distance, I could make out the carefully engraved words. 'George O Malley- loving son, caring brother, loyal friend, dutiful doctor. 1979-2009.'

Izzie knelt down slowly in front of the tomb.

'George….' I hear her whisper.

'I love you and I always will. You are my best friend and will always be.'

A tear rolls down her cheek.

I look away. This is beyond painful to watch. My beloved wife declaring her love for another man.

More tears start rolling down her cheeks, until it turned into sobbing.

I rush to her side and hug her tight to my chest.

She grabs my dark blue Giordano shirt, her tears now wetting it.

Gradually, the sobs subsided and she begins to relax in my arms.

I decide it's time to return to the hospital, the place we now call our home.

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I'm back in Room 8 of the Seattle Grace Oncology Unit. Izzie is now sound and safe asleep on her bed beside me. I just can't sleep. I haven't been sleeping for several days now. There must be huge dark circles under my eyes.

I haven't been eating properly too. My stomach was grumbling. But I just can't bear to leave Izzie alone, even if for a minute.

I just lean back on the armchair which I call my bed for the past few days.

Without warning, thoughts of George began to flood my mind.

I've to admit, we weren't exactly the best of friends. We often quarreled and bickered with each other.

I recall the times I laughed and snickered at him and called him 007- license to kill. I recall betting for 100 bucks that he wouldn't be able to make it past his first year of internship. I remember the time in the locker room I yelled at him to stop acting like such a pussy after his bedroom disaster with Meredith. I don't remember the exact words I said….but it went something like this 'Dude, you got laid. It went badly……' and ended with 'I would slam your bloody face in the locker!' I wish I could take that back now.

I remember being jealous of him when one day both of us got stuck in the elevator, and he was the one to rise to the occasion, while I froze.

And the most recently, how we both quarreled over a patient who ended up trying to kill himself by jumping off the 13th floor of the hospital and crashing into a parked car right in front of us. We blamed each other for not taking care of the patient. The truth is- I was as much to be blamed as he was for the incident.

But now, he is gone. I never had the chance to tell him that I am sorry for all the hurtful things I've ever said to him. I never had the chance to fully reconcile with him. Maybe he knows that I never meant all those things I said?

Beside me, Izzie stirs and opens her eyes.

'Hey' I smile at her.

'Hey' she smiles back at me.

'I met George again' she said. 'And Denny'. She added.

I clear my throat.

'Well, how are they? Next time you see them, help me say hi'.

'They're fine' she whispers. 'I asked them if four children were too many. I told them I want to have 4 – 2 boys and 2 girls, one of which will definitely have to be a tomboy'.

she giggles at the thought. 'Do you think 4 is too many for us to handle?'

Tears well up in my eyes.

Here Izzie is talking about us having children together. And she is still fighting her battle with cancer.

Such optimism she has!

'No, I don't think it's too much to handle' I reply, kissing her forehead.

I climb onto the bed and snuggle up close to her, breathing in the scent of her.

'Promise me you'll never leave me'. I told her.

'Promise me you'll never leave me'. She replies back.

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**I hope you enjoy this chapter! Next up is Meredith.**


	5. The good old days Meredith's POV

**Thanks Mcalison for your reviews! And thank you to all the faithful readers out there too. Your reviews mean a lot to me and keep me writing, so please do review! :)**

**Meredith POV**

I groan and rub my eyes. The sun is shining in brightly from the bedroom windows. I grab the alarm clock beside my bed….10am. I jerk up into sitting position. 10 am! So late? Do I have a surgery or something I have to attend to?

I look down at my clothes and realize that I am still wearing last night's clothes.

I rub my temples as I try to gather my thoughts together. My head is throbbing so badly, I just can't think properly. I try to recall what happened last night, but to no avail.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea hits me. I rush to the toilet and empty my guts contents out.

I feel better. It must be the tequila. Too much tequila.

Ok, what exactly happened yesterday? Oh yes, the funeral. George's funeral. It was a solemn affair. It was such a blur to me, I cannot recall the exact details. All I remember was George's mother and brothers sitting in front of me, his mother weeping silently through the entire funeral, and the brothers just sitting quietly, not uttering a single word.

I would've comforted them, and told them how brave and strong their son and brother was, but I was too lost in my own thoughts and my own grief.

Derek had his hand around my shoulder throughout. My McDreamy. I'm grateful that he is there for me.

Later, Cristina and I went to Joe's and consumed glass after glass of tequila.

I brought a few bottles back home and continued my tequila frenzy until I got drunk.

Yes, that was what happened yesterday, now I remember.

After shower, I walk slowly down the stairs to the kitchen. The house is eerily quiet.

I spot a piece of paper on the kitchen table and pick it up.

Scribbed on the paper, in a handwriting only doctors can decipher was a note…

'_Dear Mer,_

_I'm being called for a corpus collosectomy. Call me if you need anything. See you this evening. _

_Love Derek_

I run my hand over the handwriting, smiling to myself.

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My stomach filled with toast and butter, I decide that the house needs some spring cleaning. I can't remember the last time I cleaned the house. It must have been quite a while ago, judging from the dust and cobwebs that have started to accumulate at the corners of the house. The house that my mother, the late Ellis Grey, left for me. The house that I used to share with Izzie and George. George. I remember the good old days during my internship when the 3 of us would bicker for our turns in the bathroom…bicker for whose turn it was to buy the tampons. And George would always end up having to buy tampons for me and Izzie and complaining about it.

How the 3 of us would lie beneath the Christmas tree that Izzie put up in the spirit of Christmas (because she is big on holidays) and just stare at the Christmas tree lights.

How Izzie and I would just invite ourselves into George's bedroom and hop on his bed. And the 3 of us would lie on the bed together, dreaming sweet little dreams.

Those were the days of innocence.

I smile to myself as I think about those days.

I enter Alex's room, which is barely occupied nowadays as he prefers to sleep together with Izzie in her bedroom. It used to be George's bedroom.

I spot a box in the corner of the room. I open it out of curiousity. Inside it is a pile of what looked like George's clothes. Yes, I remember the white striped Tshirt, the green poloshirt, the army wear. I take the clothes out one by one and try to recall George wearing each shirt.

Then a memory came to mind. Not the sweetest of all memories, but still one to remember. George standing at the bedroom door, his right hand on a plaster sling and his left hand carrying a travelling bag. He was leaving.

I don't want to go to the details of the events leading to the scene, but let's just say that it was an experiment gone wrong. A bad sexual experiment. How was I to know that he had a thing for me since day 1? How was I to know that I would cry while having sex with him? And that upset him so badly.

I chuckle at the memory.

The phone rings and I pick it up.

'Just wanting to check how is my person doing' says a sexy husky voice at the other end.

' You're not Cristina!' I laughed, secretly glad that he called. 'How's the surgery?'

' Good. I rocked, as usual' came the cocky reply.

I chuckled. At least I still have him, the cocky brain man.

' I'm coming home now.' He said. 'To pick you up. We're going somewhere special.'

'Where to?'

'You'll see'.

'I love you'

'I love you too'.

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Half an hour later, I am in Derek's black SUV and we were headed to…he wouldn't tell me. He insists that it be a surprise.

'Ok, we've reached our destination' he says finally.

Right in front of us was the huge, white, majestic City Hall building.

'I life is too short to be postponing certain things.' Derek smiled at me.

I was speechless.

Me, the dark and twisty Meredith Grey, was getting married today. Who would've thought?

'I…umm…..don't you think we should call some people first? I want this to be special, I want to share this day with certain people' ask hurriedly.

He parked the car and turned to look at me.

'Who should we call?'

I picked up my phone to dial my best friend and he picked up his phone to dial his.

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**Hope you enjoy this chapter! Whose POV do you want next? **


	6. Beautiful Day Derek's POV

**Thank you so much for all your comments! I really do appreciate them! Please, oh please do keep them coming! ******

**Disclaimer: Of course, Grey's and the characters don't belong to me. The first sentence of this chapter doesn't belong to me as well.**

Warning: Some MerDer hotness in this chapter!

**Derek POV**

Sometimes, you just never know that the biggest day of your life is going to be the biggest day. That is what crosses my mind as I lie in my bed, trying to block out the snoring coming from the other side of the bed.

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It was a simple wedding. An unconventional wedding. Attended by the bride and groom (of course), the bride's person, the groom's best friend (or rather ex-best friend) and the minister. We would've called more people, but it would defeat the purpose of 'a small wedding'. Meredith and I were never really into big weddings. That's one of the reasons why we gave away the previous wedding to Izzie, who had planned so meticulously for it.

For starters, the bride was dressed in a simple long sleeved purple Tshirt (somehow she always wears purple for the biggest days of her life) and blue jeans and the groom was clad in a white Tshirt with black trousers. Second, there were no wedding invitations being sent out, no wedding reception, no big churchy church wedding ceremony with flowers girls and bridemaids. Just the five of us.

The minister explained the rules and regulations and laws regarding marriage to us, as Meredith and I exchanged impatient glances. Finally, it was time to put down our signatures. I remember my hands shaking as I signed my name carefully on the paper. It was a defining moment in my life, a moment I am going to remember for the rest of my life. So I had to cherish it. Mer, on the other hand, became impatient. Right after I finished signing, she grabbed the black pen from my hand and scribbled her signature on the paper.

'Ok, so you two are now officially registered as a married couple'. the minister smiled at us.

Mark and Cristina, standing beside us, were grinning.

' We are now a married couple.' I corrected. 'And I may now kiss the bride.'

My blue eyes met her soft aquamarine eyes. Those eyes which I cannot say no to. I pulled her close to me and our lips met. For a moment, the world seemed to stand still as we were lost in a passionate kiss.

Cristina presented Mer with a bouquet of red roses (which she had picked up on the way to City Hall).

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Later, Cristina and Meredith claimed that they had to run to the nearby supermarket for some grocery shopping. I decided to take the opportunity to check out on the wedding rings. I just realized that we had forgotten totally about the rings! I was going to scout around for the best jewellery shop in town which can offer us the most affordable price for two beautiful diamond rings.

I remember the conversation that I had with Mark as we stroll along the streets of Seattle, soaking in the summer sun while on search for jewellery shops.

'So, how big Grey coping?' he asked.

'In her own way' I answered. 'Drowning her sorrows in bottles of tequila. She claims that she's fine. But I don't know. One minute she's all happy and perky, the next minute she is drowning herself in tequila. Not that I blame her. I know how hard it is to lose a good friend'.

' Well, that's in the Grey genes.' Mark laughed. 'Little Grey has been drowning her sorrows in bottles of tequila as well. Maybe she inherited that from her big sister.'

'Ahh…the Grey sisters. What can we do without them?' I said as I spotted two matching sparkling diamond rings on display in the counter of a jewellery shop we were about to walk past. I have to bring Mer to see these rings later.

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The four of us met at Joe's later that afternoon, as scheduled.

As Mark and I entered, Mer and Cristina were already there, teasing Joe as usual.

'Hey Joe' I overheard Mer say, 'I'm married. Can you believe it? I'm now a married woman.' She sounded almost too perky, the way she said it.

'Married women still drink right?' Joe joked as he started pouring a bottle of tequila for her.

'No…no….' Meredith grabbed his hand to stop him.

'No tequila for me. At least not for some time. Can I just have a glass of coke please'.

Joe looked puzzled, but proceeded to pour a glass of coke for her.

Mark and I exchanged puzzled looks.

'Just trying to wean myself off the tequila' Meredith smiled at me as I joined her at the bar.

________________________________________________________________________

'Gosh, this is the best wedding night ever'. Meredith said breathlessly as I roll off her for the third time.

We lay side by side catching our breaths.

'The wedding rings, they are beautiful' she added.

'And the wedding, I can't believe we actually got married today. I never thought I'd actually get married. I mean, I want to get married to you, but I'm not big on weddings.'

She was rambling again. I love when she rambles.

'I feel lucky to be married to such an extraordinary woman as you' I said. She blushed.

'I have a surprise for you too.' she propped up to her elbows and looked at me.

' I am not sure I like it, but I'm sure you will'.

'What is it?' I asked, unable to take my eyes off her beautiful naked body.

'I'm pregnant. We're having a baby.'

'I just found out when taking the pregnancy test this afternoon.'

It took a while for the statement to sink in.

'You mean….I'm going to be a father?'

'Yes, and I'm going to be a crappy mother'. Her voice shook as she said it. She started to cry softly. ' I'm not sure I can handle this. George just died and I'm…. I'm just not myself lately. This is not the right time to have a baby'.

I hugged her close to me.

'No, Mer, you're going to be the best mother in the world. We're going to be amazing parents. And everyone could use some good news right now.'

'Really?' she looked at me with those soft aquamarine eyes. She looked so innocent, like a little girl.

'Yes, I'm sure' I answered calmly, trying to hide the excitement from my voice.

I, Derek Sheperd, was going to be a father.

' Maybe we can name the baby George if it's a boy' Meredith interrupted my thoughts.

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**So how do you like this chapter? ******** Whose POV do you want up next? **


	7. What could've been Callie's POV

**I just watched the Grey's season 6 promo. And it gave me a rough idea of whose POV I want up next. So enjoy! **

**Callie's POV**

I'm a walking zombie, wandering aimlessly down the corridors of the Seattle Grace Hospital. Everything just seems like a huge blur and flurry of activity around me. Everyone else is busy going about their daily activities. But for me, my world has stopped. For me, the world stopped the day George O Malley died.

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I remember the night he proposed to me. He just got down on his knees and like a begging puppy with those puppy brown eyes, he asked me to marry him. How could I say no?

I remember our wedding. It was a crazy night out in Vegas, and both of us were so drunk that we couldn't even think straight or walk in a straight line. The events of that night were a a huge blur to me. I just somehow remember both of us stumbling into the small chapel and harrassing a disgusted looking priest to get us married right away. And so get married right away we did. No wedding plans, no guests, no wedding gowns, no official ceremony of any sort. Just the two of us and the priest.

How honoured I was to be called Callie O Malley! I practised calling myself by that new name before I returned to work that weekend. The response from the hospital staff was....less than enthusiastic you would say, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I was now happily married to the love of my life.

For a while, everything was so fine and dandy. We were living in a hotel room which I paid for with my trust funds. We were planning for a baby even.

Then she had to come and ruin it all.

The blonde bombshell named Izzie Stevens. She had the guts to sleep with my husband. And he had the heart to cheat on me with her. She single handedly destroyed our marriage. That uh....never mind....I'm not the type to name call. But I admit I did curse her. I confess that I even prayed for her to die a slow and painful death. And imagine my horror and shock when she indeed got diagnosed with skin cancer! I promised myself I will never pray such prayers ever again.

I felt my love for George slowly dissolve into thin air. I began sleeping with other men and women, but somehow something just didn't seem right. There is still an empty hole in my heart even right now. I don't know what it is. Nobody can ever fill this void in my heart.

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I remember the last few minutes of George's life. His face so emaciated, so disfigured that you couldn't recognize that it was him. But those eyes, those soft puppy brown eyes that looked back at me, those eyes were unmistakably his. That moment when he stared back at me, I could feel all the past frustrations that I felt about him just dissolve. For a moment, he was just the George O Malley that I fell in love with. The George O Malley that I got married to.

I held his right hand tight (while Meredith held his left hand) and I told him to be brave, to be strong, because he was an O Malley.

I recall the monitor beeping and watching helplessly and Owen started the decompressions.

Then I remember crying all my heart and my sorrow out as Meredith tried to comfort me (before she herself started crying).

I couldn't even bear to attend his funeral. I couldn't bear to face his family, especially his mother, who had been so kind to me when I was her daughter in law. So I made up the excuse that I was called for an emergency surgery.

Now, I have no more tears left to cry. My tear ducts have dried up, my heart has closed up.

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' I can't take it anymore' I whisper to myself as I walk out of a patient's room. Emily, my young 18 year old patient who was diagnosed with a rapidly spreading osteosarcoma has just asked me how long she had to live, while looking up at me with those huge innocent eyes. And I just couldn't answer her. I couldn't take it anymore, the cruel realities of life. I just needed to escape, needed somewhere to hide and to never come back.

I head over to the small hospital chapel. It was always peaceful and quiet there (as hospital people are not religious) and I needed my peace and quiet.

I looked at the huge cross sign at the front of the chapel and prayed.

I prayed for God to bless his soul and let his soul rest in peace. I prayed for God to bestow His healing powers on Izzie, because as much as I hate her, no one deserves to suffer from such a devastating illness. I pray for...God to bless my current relationship with Arizona Robbins. I know that God doesn't condone same sex relationships, but part of me stubbornly wants Him to accept and bless our relationship. As much as I want my Dad to bless and accept Arizona and bless our relationship.

Tears fall down my eyes and I think about what could have been. Maybe I would've been happily married to George and we would've one or two kids by now. Maybe I would've been happily addressing myself as Mrs. O Malley. Maybe....

'Oh...you're here' a perky voice interrupted my thoughts.

I look up to see Arizona, her blue eyes staring straight at me.

I love her, I really do, but I just needed some time alone.

'Arizona', I said gently. I wanted to tell her to go away, but the words got stuck in my throat.

She took a seat beside me in the empty chapel.

'Still thinking about George?' Gosh is this woman a mind-reader or something?

'Yep' I reply shrugging.

She touch my shoulder gently.

'Look' she said. 'You don't have to keep on pretending. I know you're hurting. Just let it out of your system, you'll feel better afterwards'.

I stare at her.

'Arizona- what do you expect me to do? If I act happy, everyone would stare at me like I've lost my mind, because they expect me to be grieving for my ex-husband. If I act sad and depressed, I would make others sad and depressed too. How am I supposed to react?'

This time Arizona didn't reply. She just put a hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

'I don't know what to do now, Arizona'. I said, my voice shaking.

'Dad has cut me off from his life and has cut off all my trust funds. I don't have any friends of my own because I'm too busy trying to make ends meet to have a social life now. George's friends- well now that George is gone, I don't have a connection with them anymore. I have no money and I have nobody to talk to.'

'You still have me'. She said quietly.

We both sat quietly in our seats in the chapel, staring at the big wooden cross sign- as if it would give us the answers to life's questions.

Maybe what I needed was really divine intervention.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And yes, please do review, reviews make my day! :) **


	8. I need you Lexie's POV

**No comments from the last 2 chapters? You guys make me so so sad. :( :P **

**Anyways, thanks to you faithful readers out there!**

**Disclaimer: Grey's and it's characters do not belong to me.**

**Warning: This upcoming episode has mention of a certain sex tape scandal. It is not in any way meant to demean the actor involved. It is just in good fun, to spice up this chapter. **

**Enjoy! :) **

**Lexie's POV**

I am furious. I am fuming. I am usually a sweet tempered person, but if you cross me, I can be a tigress. I need to find the person who is the cause of my wrath and vent it out on him....now!

Then I spot him. Leaning over at the nurse's counter, deeply engaged in a conversation with Derek Sheperd. His best friend whom he cheated on. (or so I heard).

I stride over to both of them and stand in between them, hands on my hips.

'...been a little cranky lately....' I overhear him say to Derek. Huh. This only fuels my anger ever more. Who else could he be talking about?

'Little Grey!' Mark Sloan exclaims, apparently shocked to see me standing there, but trying hard to cover it.

'Dr. Grey?' Derek questions.

Ignoring him, I glare at Mark, my eyes boring holes into his.

'Lexie' Mark said nervously. 'What's wrong? If looks could kill, I'd be lying dead on the floor now'.

'What do you think you're doing, Mark Sloan? Do you want to become the next porn star?'

'Lexie, I don't know what you're talking about.' he looks confused. Or at least he pretends to be.

'THE SEX TAPE! The one with you and two random girls dancing about naked!'

'Huh?! Wha...what are you talking about.....I never tape myself dancing naked......' he stammers.

'Well....tell that to the whole world....because I found the video on YouTube. Unless it's your evil twin trying to act as you. But you never told me you have a twin.' I stare again at him.

He now has this guilty look on his face, as if he suddenly recalls something.

'That was a long time ago, Lexie..' he says calmly. 'I was just having some fun on a Friday night, that's all. Just dancing, no sex involved. I swear.'

I huff loudly. He really thinks I'm going to buy that?

I walk away, stamping my feet on the ground. What a jerk, what a manwhore. I think to myself.

From the corner of my eyes, I can see Mark standing frozen on his spot, apparently still in shock, while Derek had a weird look on his face, as if trying to withhold laughter.

________________________________________________________________________________

I just cannot focus. My mind is still spinning in all directions. My emotions are in total chaos. I am feeling a mixture of emotions, from anger at manwhore Mark Sloan, (How on earth could I have feelings for such a manwhore? I'm the most stupid girl in the whole world) to sadness (Why did sweet George have to die?) to pure exhaustion (after working nonstop for 18 hours.)

'Dr. Grey?' a voice boomed, interrupting my thoughts.

I jump startled.

'How many Dr. Greys are they in the OR right now?' the voice boomed again.

My eyes dart around quickly, but there was no sign of my sister anywhere.

I sigh. 'Yes, Dr. Hunt?' I finally reply.

'What are the first things you check for in an unconscious patient?'

'Umm....' I hesitate.

Usually, I would be able to regurgitate the answers out of my mouth in an instant, but today I just can't focus.

Owen Hunt looked up from the car accident victim he had been working on for 4 hours to stare at me.

'Get your act together, 3...' Cristina who was standing beside me whispers into my ear. I roll my eyes.

'Umm...' I try again. 'Check for his pulse, his breathing, his pupillary reflexes....'

'Alright, just help me to hold his legs here.' he seems satisfied with the answer and I breath a sigh of relief.

________________________________________________________________________________

I literally tear off my scrubs as I rush out of the OR right after the surgery. I just cannot take it anymore. I just need somewhere to curl up like a cocoon and forget about the harsh realities of life.

I have no one now. George who was a good friend is gone, my supposed boyfriend has become a manwhore and my sister....well, she's starting to act like I don't exist in her life again. And her best friend who is supposed to be my resident...well I am just a mere number to her.

I finally reach the laundry room which was thankfully empty. I rest my head against a stack of unwashed laundry and slowly slide to sitting position. I realise I have no tears left to cry. So I sit there in silence. I remember how I used to run into the room with tears in my eyes during the hardest days of my internship. And somehow, George would sense that I am there. And he would be there too, to put an arm around me and say comforting words to me. Yes, I got mad at him when he didn't realize I had feelings for him. But he was still my good friend nonetheless.

'Lexie' a soft voice calls behind me.

'I miss you George' I say without turning around. 'Why did you have to go?'

Silence.

"Lexie' the voice says again. 'I'm sorry for always brushing you off and ignoring you. I'm sorry.'

'Yes, you should be sorry George. You were all I had. I had feelings for you. I was in love with you. But you were oblivious to it, you brush me off all the time. Everyone dismisses me.' I say, still staring at the ground.

It was so comforting to be able to talk to George in the spirit...

Suddenly George cleared his throat.

I look up finally.

And see.....not George, but my elder half sister Meredith Grey standing right in front of me.

'Lexie?' the look on her face was a combination of concern and confusion.

'I...I....didn't see George, I just assumed you were him.' I said quickly.

'You miss him, don't you.' she sighed, taking a seat beside me on the dusty floor of the laundry room.

'Yes'.

'So do I'.

We look at each other, two sisters, same father, same surname, yet so different.

'You ok?' she asked finally. 'Is there anything wrong? You can always tell me, I'm your sister you know.'

Somehow hearing those words make me feel so much better.

'You know some of those days where you feel like you have nobody?' I finally blurted out.

'Well, I feel like that today. I feel like crap ' I manage a small laugh.

Meredith nodded.

'I know what you mean. I feel like that too sometimes.'

We are so different in some ways yet so similar in other ways.

She put an arm around me. What a comforting feeling! That was what I've always dreamt of. An elder sister who can be there for me, the elder sister I never had. I was the one who always had to be there for Molly,since I was the elder sister.

'Don't worry, I'm here for you.' Ahh...those words that I need to hear.

'Thank you, Meredith.' I hug my sister. By now I am unable to control my sobs.

We were caught in an embrace for what seemed like a long long time, trying to make up for those lost years.

'I've something to tell you.', she says, holding my hands.

'You're going to be an aunt. And a wonderful aunt too.'

We hug again, this time tears of joy were streaming down our faces.

________________________________________________________________________________

'Lexie'.

I look up from the charts, frowning. I didn't like to be interrupted in the middle of my work.

'Lexie, we need to talk.' he sounds serious, like he means business.

I groan inwardly. What lame excuse was he going to come up with this time?

'Look Lexie, I'm so sorry about what happened. I can explain.'

'What is there to explain? You were caught dancing nude with 2 naked women. What happens after that, I don't want to know.' I retort angrily, whispering into his ear so that no one else could hear.

' It was just in good fun, I promise. No sex involved, no drugs. It was 10 years ago, I was such a dumbass back then! But that is not the Mark Sloan who is standing in front of you now.' he says earnestly.

' I love you Lexie, I really do. And I don't want to hurt you.'

I look up at him, to see his brown eyes pleading with me.

Then I surprise myself by pulling him into a long passionate kiss.

'Little Grey!' he exclaims after I pull away from him.

I look away blushing, almost wanting to slap myself in the face for what I had done.

I had forgiven the manwhore.

' I wonder who found the tape and had the nerve to upload it to Youtube?' Mark wonders out loud.

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**Hope you enjoy this chapter! And I'm not the type to keep on begging, but I would really appreciate it if I could have some reviews...because reviews are very valuable for writers. :)**


	9. Life Is A Battlefield Owen's POV

**Thank you uniquegrl7 and WhiteFlower….thank you so much for your reviews and comments!! I really appreciate them :D**

**Owen's POV**

I am lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. The fanless ceiling. (since Cristina had taken down the fan not too long ago). My eyes are still wide open. I had tried so many ways and methods of inducing sleep, but they all didn't seem to work tonight. Drinking milk right before bed, wearing a pair of warm stockings (even though it's not winter yet), watching boring documentaries (although one documentary on Iraq caught my attention and caused me to be glued to the TV set for an hour). But here I am, still wide awake, at 3 am in the morning. I really need to get my sleep and recharge my energy, as I am anticipating a busy day tomorrow. With the 'Dead Baby Bike Race Day' going on.

I turn to look at the woman sleeping soundly beside me, her dark curls spread messily on her pillow. It must have taken her a lot of courage to want to sleep on the same bed as me again.

I sigh and turn my attention back to the ceiling. Usually, the fan on the ceiling would put me to sleep, but it is gone.

So I resort to my last option….counting sheep.

'100…99….98…97….96…..'

'55…..54……53…..52……'

___________________________________________________________________________________

'WAKE UP! GET OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW!!' I am startled by sudden booming voice.

I jump up of my bed , as if it is a reflex action.

I look around to see that I am in a dormitory and being surrounded by man hunky men about half my age.

'Out to the fields, NOW!' the same voice orders.

Seeing the other men march out of the dorm into the huge green fields, I follow them. My mind is still a blur, as if still in a half asleep state.

I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around to see…..George O'Malley, looking so smart dressed up in his army uniform. I look down at myself to see that I am also dressed up in army uniform. Maybe I fell asleep in them? I don't remember.

'O Malley! What are you doing here?' I ask.

He looks confused.

'I joined the army, remember?'

'Oh yes, I remember that. And everyone was firing the blame on me for persuading you to join the army.' I chuckled.

'I have no regrets.' he says. 'I feel like this is what I am meant to be doing. Thank you Dr. Hunt, thank you so much for putting all your faith in me. Thank you for guiding me to what I'm supposed to be doing.'

I look down at the young man, his brown eyes looking so earnestly at me, and I smile.

' Just do me proud.' I reply.

BANG!!

I jump startled. It was the sound of a bullet, and it was unmistakably in very close proximity to me. I may have just dodged a bullet literally.

When I regain my senses, I gasp at the sight before me. George O Malley, who had been happily chatting with me just a mere minute ago, is now lying on the ground, bright red blood oozing out from his chest.

' O Malley!' I cry out, rushing to his side.

'Hey, I need help here! I call out. Somebody has been shot!'

The other soldiers seem to deeply occupied in their daily morning exercises, ignoring us.

I am now furious. What the hell was going on? Did they not seem to care? Who shot him? Did they all want him dead?

I bent down over George's limp body and felt for his jugular pulse. Nothing. He had just bled to death literally in front of me. And there is nothing I can do about it.

Suddenly, I am overcome by wrath and fury. Those bastards! What did they do to him?!

Without hesistating to think about the consequences of my actions, I run over to where the other soldiers were and throw myself over the big sized sergeant. I could hear gasps of shock around me, but I don't care. I am now on top of him. I begin squeezing his throat, releasing my wrath on him, as he choked breathlessly for his life. I continued squeezing, ignoring his gasps for breath. Serves him right, I say to myself.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

'Owen….OWEN…!!

At the call of my name, I come to my senses.

And find myself still on bed at home. Phew, it was just a dream, a horrible dream.

But…wait….what I am doing?

I look up just in time to see my girlfriend, Cristina Yang, running out from the bathroom, tears in her eyes. She glares at me and then disappears into the living room, banging the bedroom door behind her.

'Oh my God' I think to myself. 'What have I done?'. Did I unconsciously strangle her again in my sleep?

Now Callie Torres, her roommate is standing at my door, her arms folded.

' You are not allowed to sleep at our place anymore. This is the second time you almost choked her to death.'

Oh my God….what have I done!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I scrub out hurriedly from the 6 hour surgery, the surgery which I was operating on a 20 something year old John Doe who fell off his bike and had his head dragged at least half a mile by a bus. I shudder to myself. That patient eerily reminds me of George O Malley's final days in the hospital, the last few days of his life. But at least this patient survived.

Then I see her. Standing at the hospital bridge. I need to make it up to her. I own her that much. I had invited her to scrub in on the surgery, an invitation which she normally would have happily accepted. But there was no sign of her in the OR.

Oh…she isn't alone., she's with her best friend. Screw it…I have to approach her.

'Hey' I say as I reach the two residents. They both stare at me, like I'm a total stranger.

' You are not allowed to lay your hands on her ever again. Not even touch a strand of her hair!' an angry Meredith Grey was the first to speak up. What a protective friend she is.

'Never mind, it's ok. I'll speak to him.' Cristina says quietly.

'But….'

'It's ok, Mer. I'll be fine. Can I have a moment alone with him?'

Meredith walks off reluctantly, looking at us as she walks away. As if she's afraid I might strangle her best friend the very minute she takes her eyes off us.

'Cristina, look I'm sorry. I really am. I had no idea this thing was going to happen again. I had no idea that I would have these nightmares again. I have been attending all my sessions….' I plead with her.

She sighs sadly. 'I don't know what to do, Owen. I love you, and this is a lot coming from me. I know you didn't mean to do it and you can't control yourself. But this has to stop somehow. Is there any medication or something that you can take? Because I can't…I just can't go to sleep at night afraid that I would get strangled to death in the middle of the night. I just….can't handle this anymore .' Her voice trails off.

There is a weird look on her face, as if she is about to cry.

I slowly reach out my hand to touch hers. She backs off slightly, as if afraid of my touch.

Ok, this is bad.

'Maybe we should just stop sleeping together for a while, until I'm totally cured. You know, we can meet up and see each other everyday, but just not sleep together on the same bed.' I finally say.

She nods, not saying anything. Tears were starting to roll down her eyes.

' Take care now.' I say and walk away sadly, leaving her to drown in her own sorrows.

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**So how do you like this chapter? :) I had fun writing it, that's for sure. Reviews and comments are very much appreciated, so you would make me a very happy person by dropping some reviews! ;) **


	10. Can't Breathe Cristina's POV

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's or any of it's characters...**

**I need to rush up this story as uni is reopening. The next few chapters might be a bit dark and depressing...**

**Cristina's POV**

For a long while, I stand at the hospital bridge, letting the tears roll down my face. I watch him walk away. Part of me wants to chase after him, but my legs just stay rooted to the spot. A few nurses who pass by stare at me questioningly. I don't blame them. It's a very rare occurrence indeed to see the tough, competitive, no nonsense Cristina Yang in tears. In public. Cristina Yang does not cry. She does not break down. She is a fighter, a doer. But somehow, the events of these past couple of weeks have done something to my hardened heart. It's like my heart has melted, like icecream under the summer heat.

For the past couple of weeks after George's death, I have been running about the hospital, trying to keep myself occupied, trying to keep my mind off the harsh reality of it all. Telling myself that it is ok, that I'm fine, that everybody else is fine. That everything is going to be alright. But then, every so often, when I'm alone in my bedroom, the tears would start falling. It's as if I had become an entirely different person lately. Any single thing, such as a patient dying on the operating table, or having to break bad news to a patient would cause my lacrimal gland to fill up. And I have to find an excuse to rush to the toilet. I just do not like people seeing me crying, that's not me at all.

But today, I just don't care. Let the whole hospital see my tears, for all its worth.

I touch the back of my neck. It is still sore, and there were strangulation marks left when I checked myself in the mirror this morning. So I am wearing a turtleneck to cover the marks, a turtleneck during summer.

'Cristina?' a soft voice jolts me back to reality.

I look up to see my best friend, Meredith Grey looking at me with concern. Her face is pale, but she has been glowing lately. I am happy for her. At least the baby she is carrying give us some hope for the future.

I just let the tears roll down my cheeks, not saying anything.

Meredith sighed and place an arm around my shoulder. That's why she is my person. She always knows exactly what I need. No questions. Just comfort. We stood there in silence for a long while, just staring down at the hospital lobby. There is a lot of activity going on down there, but we are both so preoccupied in our thoughts.

________________________________________________________________________________

'Grey! Yang!' we are both jolted from our trance state by the familiar loud voice. The voice that had been barking orders to us ever since our first day of internship in this Seattle Grace Hospital.

Dr. Bailey is now standing in front of us, her hands on her hips. The posture she always uses, as if to remind us that she is our superior, and we are to follow her orders.

'What are you two doing here? Aren't you supposed to be prepping patients for surgery?'

'She needs some time off' Meredith answers for me.

'You ok Yang?' the tone in Bailey's voice has changed. She can be strict, but caring at the same time.

I wipe off the tears furiously with the sleeve of my shirt.

'Yes'. I reply before Mer could say anything.

'You sure?

'Yes, I'm fine' I reply more firmly this time.

'Ok- I really need the both of you right now. I need you to help sort out the H1N1 screening in this hospital.'

I open my mouth to protest, but she raised her hand to stop me...

'Look, both of you are all I've got now. O Malley is....gone...., Stevens is still in a weakened and immunocompromised state, and Karev can't get in contact with the patients if he is to look after her.'

Mer and I exchanged a look and she shrugged her shoulders. Looks like we have no choice.

________________________________________________________________________________

' No fever, you're fine. Here are the vitamins, and here is the blue slip. Remember to show the blue slip to the security before you leave.' Mer says for the hundreth time as a young blonde woman thanks her.

I hear her exhale and lean back on her chair, rubbing her temples.

'You ok? You can go to rest, I'll take over'. I offer.

'No..no...I'm fine, just a slight headache, that's all.' she smiles at me. ' I only feel nauseous right after I get out of bed in the morning, other than that, I'm fine.'

' 38 degrees. Here's the yellow slip, walk over to that counter, the nurses will carry out further observations on you.' I say to a young Asian guy, maybe in his 20s, who didn't look well indeed.

He walks over slowly to the nurses counter, his head held down.

' This is so boring!' I complain. 'Repeating the same thing over and over again. I would rather scrub in for surgery with Hunt right now...'

' And let him strangle you to death.' says Mer sarcastically.

' Hey, he's not a murderer.. He's suffering from PTSD! He doesn't mean it.' I retort back.

'Wow, since when do you play nice?' Mer looks at me winking.

' Stop it! I'm not being nice. I'm just stating the truth...'

' Admit it...you love him....'

'I do not...... agh, forget it!' I am too lazy to argue today.

The queue seems to have cleared up, so we can both relax a bit.

I am about to lean back on my chair, when suddenly I jolt up in my seat and stare at Meredith.

'What?!' I am making her nervous.

'Mer...you are not supposed to be here!'

' Why not?' she looks confused.

' Have you forgotten? Pregnancy is one of the risk factors for H1N1 fatalities....'

' Oh my God' she has her hands covering her mouth in shock. 'How could I have forgotten!'

'But...but...I'm wearing a mask. I wouldn't catch it, would I?' she sounds so innocent.

' You've to get out of here now, shoo! We'll tell Bailey later. You have a very legitimate excuse for not performing this duty today.'

I watch as my best friend hurries away to the second floor. I'm left alone again.

_A few days later..._

I groan as the sound of the pager beeping wakes me up from my nap. It had been a tiring day- sorting out the H1N1 screening queue alone, then scrubbing in for a bypass surgery. I would've checked on Izzie like I usually do, but I don't want her to contact the virus. Why can't I have some peace and quiet?

_911._..it's an emergency. _Room 211 stat. _

This sounds serious.

I rush out of the on call room to Room 211 of the surgery department.

________________________________________________________________________________

'I'm here' I proclaim, catching my breath.

Bailey was there, Lexie was there too. They both look at me pensively, making me nervous. I now feel butterflies in my stomach.

'What's up? A H1N1 patient?' There seems to be an influx of them lately. The outbreak is getting serious.

They just nodded, not saying a word.

Instinctively, I walk over to the bed to check on the patient.

And gasp in shock.

There, lying on the bed, looking so pale and lifeless was my person, Meredith Grey. She is attached to a ventilator.

I shake my head in disbelief. It can't be. She was just chatting happily to me a few hours ago. She had developed the flu symptoms the last couple of days, but nothing serious.

Maybe it's just a dream, a bad dream...

I look up at Lexie and Bailey. Lexie now has tears rolling down her cheeks.

I take out my stethescope and place it on Mer's chest. Rhonchi. Bilateral crepitations. Dullness upon percussion. All the signs pointing to pneumonia, a complication of H1N1. This is bad. It's all my fault. I should've told Bailey that Mer is pregnant, I should've stopped Mer from being in contact with the patients. But it's too late now.

Suddenly she is coughing and gasping for breath.

' Intubate her with oxygen now!' Bailey screams. ' And call code blue!'

I stand frozen on my spot. No, this is not happening. Not to my person. She's all I have left. We've lost George already and Izzie's is still battling against her cancer. We can't afford to lose another one of us.

'Yang, do something!' Bailey jolts me back to attention.

________________________________________________________________________________

**Hope you enjoy the chapter! Again, reviews make my day, so I would appreciate some reviews please ;)**


	11. Author's Note

**Author's Note: **

**So it's a cliffhanger!**

I have a rough storyline lined up for the remaining chapters. Without revealing too much info, it will feature POVs of the remaining characters, and a flashforward....

Things are going to get exciting..

However, I would not be able to update as frequently anymore, as uni is reopening on Tuesday.

Meanwhile, I would really appreciate it if I could get more reviews! ;)


	12. My Babies Bailey's POV

**Sorry for the late update! Obs posting is crazy! But thank you all who took the time to review my story! Thanks for the constructive and encouraging reviews ******** I really appreciate them. **

**Bailey's POV**

I grab an oxygen intubator and shove it down Grey's throat. Whatever it takes to get her to breathe again. I squeeze the oxygen tube, and look at the monitor. She's flatlining.

'Get a crash cart!' I cry out loud.

I take out the defibrillator and pause for a second. I can't do this. Not on a pregnant woman. But I have no choice now. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

' Charge to 300!' I press the paddles on her chest. No response.

'Charge to 400!' Her chest jerks up from the impact of the strong current. But she is still flatlining.

I sigh in defeat and put the paddles down.

She didn't even tell me that she is pregnant. Had I known, I would not have let her get in contact with the H1N1 patients. But it's too late now…

'Grey, page Sheperd now.' I order the younger Grey.

She nods and walks out of the room, pressing on the pager, with tears in her eyes.

'TRY AGAIN!' a stern voice jerks me back to action.

Yang is now standing at the foot of the bed, her eyes narrowed at me like she means business.

' I said, try again!' she repeats. 'If she could survive being underwater for 3 hours, I know she can survive this!'

Yang has a point.

' Charge to 500…and now!' I press the paddles down on Grey's chest one more time…. clinging on to the slim chance that she can still be saved.

Suddenly there is some activity on the monitor. I stare the monitor…hoping, wishing, praying…..

'I see a sinus rhythm!' I cry out.

'I think she stirred' says Yang. She rushes to the side of her friend's bed.

'Mer…please open your eyes. Open your eyes for me please…' she pleaded as she cupped her friend's pale face.

I stand at the doorway and watch them, my eyes beginning to wet with tears.

After a while, I think I see the pair of green eyes, the eyes that had always looked up to me with full of respect…..flutter open.

' Oh Mer…you're awake! Don't you ever leave me again! This is the second time you've given me such a scare, I'm never going to forgive you ever again!'

Yang is now sobbing uncontrollably.

I walk out of the room, giving my two residents some privacy.

'Hey!' I cry as somebody bumped hard into me and ran away without uttering a word of apology. This is one of my pet peeves, rude stuck up people oblivious to the world around them.

I look up in time to see Dr. Sheperd running into Grey's room, still in his scrubs. He must have been in the middle of a surgery.

I peer into the room to see Grey now wide awake, with Yang and Sheperd by her side. And smile to myself.

What a narrow escape! I honestly don't know what I would've done should anything happen to Grey. I would've lost my mind had I lost her! Because she is my baby. And I cannot afford to lose her. Not after we had lost O Malley. Not after we almost lost Stevens. They are my babies, whom I had raised since their very first day as fresh interns. Even though they make mistakes- losing track of their own interns, cutting LVAD wires, signing DNRs, drowning themselves, placing their hands on bomb cavities, joining the army, throwing themselves in front of buses – but still I am proud of them. I had raised them well, to be capable, efficient, smart, reliable and confident surgeons. I just can't afford to lose another one of them!

________________________________________________________________________

I am now standing in front of the Chief in his office. . He is pacing up and down like he always does, when something is bothering him.

' She's ok now?' his voice is full of concern.

'Yes, Chief, she's fine now…. We're keeping her under close observation.'

' Yes, you'd better. You know how much she means to me. I'm going to check on her later in the afternoon.'

' Yes, sir.'

He clears his throat.

' So…have you decided? Paeds or General Surgery?'

'General Surgery Sir'.

His eyes widened in surprise.

' Really? So you've decided to pursue General Surgery after all?' I can sense the excitement in his voice.

'Yes, Sir. I…just don't think I can handle Paediatrics Sir.'

'Why not?'

' Because I don't think I can handle losing anymore babies Sir. I've lost one of my babies and almost lost a couple more...this is all taking an emotional toll on me. I…just don't think I can handle any more of that…it breaks my heart to see babies, whether they are mine or not, …die!' my voice was shaking, and I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again.

'So yeah….this is my final decision, Chief.' I say after I regain my composure.

________________________________________________________________________

A little while later, I am walking down the corridors of the hospital, still pondering over my decision. I hope, I really hope that I had made the correct decision. The best decision, which will be in my and everyone else's best interest. My husband will not divorce me, I can get to spend more time with my son…. I would not be such an emotional wreck…..

I am jerked back to reality by a familiar voice saying out loud

' I mean seriously? It was nothing. Just a little fun loving during my younger years. I don't know why it would resurface again after 10 years. And who the hell would have such spite or revenge on me that they had to upload it onto Youtube? Clearly someone hates me and is out for revenge!'

' Well, maybe you should repent. You know, confess your sins before God……He will forgive you….'

' Callie, since when have you become such a religious person!'

' I'm not….well ever since I know that I'm a sinner….'

Just then, Mark Sloan and Callie Torres stop their chatter and look at me.

' Dr. Bailey? Are you ok? You look like you've been hit by a hurricane or something….'

Dr. Torres asks with concern.

'Umm…yes…I'm fine….it was just….Look I'll tell you about it later….' I say, walking away, pretending not to have listened to what they were talking about earlier.

'Dr. Bailey!' this time a perky voice interrupts my thoughts.

I look up to see Dr. Arizona Robbins, the paediatric surgeon, smiling at me. (Gosh, why is she always smiling, always so cheerful? Does she ever have bad days?)

'I just wanted to let you know that I'm performing a bone marrow transplant on a 10 year old leukaemia patient this afternoon. Wanna scrub in?' he voice was so jovial, making it hard to turn her down.

' Actually Dr. Robbins….I …I have decided on General Surgery after all.' I say hurriedly, without looking at her face.

I then walk away, without bothering to see what the expression on her face might be.

Had I bothered to look, it was an expression of confusion mixed with disappointment.

________________________________________________________________________

I am now in the Operating Theatre. There is a thrilled expression on my face. I am now operating the brand new robot that the Chief had bought me not too long ago. Now I am anxious and eager to test my brand new toy on my next surgery, a colectomy.

'Yes!' I cry as I watch the robot remove the gangrenous section of the colon. I had successfully performed my first robot assisted surgery! Everything else that had happened today now pales in comparison to this.

________________________________________________________________________

I am now alone in On Call Room 3, which was miraculously unoccupied when I entered it. ( This room is somehow always occupied on normal days).

The events of the day has worn down on me. I had just visited Stevens and Grey, and was pleased that they are both stabilized and doing well now.

If only OMalley is doing fine now too. In times of solitude like this, I begin to wonder, is he looking down at us from heaven? Ever since he left, I felt like I had lost one of my children. Because he had been one of my children, one of my babies. When he left, a part of me was torn apart.

He was the one who always had to fight hard to prove himself. He struggled through his internship, he struggled through his residency. But he was a fighter. He never gave up.

And he was the one who helped me deliver my son, Tucker Jr..

I pick up my cell phone and dial my house number.

'Hello?' a female voice answers.

' Hey Stephanie, is Tucker there? Is he asleep?'

' No…he's watching TV at the moment. Wait…let me get him.'

'Momma!' I hear the oh so familiar voice at the other end of the phone.

'Tucker… you're not asleep yet?'

'No momma, I'm watching Barney!'

'How was school today Tucker? Did you punch anyone?'

'No momma, I was a good boy today.'

' Was anyone nasty to you?'

' No…except for this one guy who refused to share sweets with me. But I didn't punch him though.'

' That's mommas good boy.'

'Momma? When are you coming home?' that question always breaks my heart.

'I've work to do, dear. I 'll come home as soon as I finish work. Ok?'

'Ok.' He sounds sad now.

Do you want me to sing a song to you before you sleep?'

I begin to softly sing the tune 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' until there was silence at the other end of the line.

I put down the phone and sigh to myself. I wish that I can be there for my son. And there was still a lot of patching up to be done between me and Tucker Sr. but that can wait. For now, I hope that everything is going to be just fine.

Just when I thought I could have some peace and quiet, my cellphone rings.

I groan to myself as I pick it up.

And gasp in shock as I see the caller ID.

'Hey….do you miss me? It has been a long time, hasn't it? I wonder if anything has changed over there….' the voice at the other end of the phone still sounds so familiar.

' Addison?'

' I'm coming over to Seattle Grace tomorrow. My ex-husband has called for me. Apparently my services are needed here… '

' Oh yes, a lot has changed here.' I tell my old friend.

________________________________________________________________________

**Ha…look who is back! ;) **

**Reviews are very much appreciated ******


	13. The Return Addison's POV

**Addison's POV**

I am standing in front of the Seattle Grace Hospital. As I look at the big building looming in front of me, many memories flood my mind. This was the hospital in which I had developed as a neonatal and obstetric surgeon. I had made my mark here, to the point that any pregnant woman who was admitted into Seattle Grace hospital would be referred to me. Ahhh….how I miss those days.

But it did bring some not so good memories as well…. this was where my ex-husband fell in love with his slutty intern mistress (oops….did I just say that?) and left me for her.

Maybe it's because she is younger and prettier than me. Or maybe it was my fault….I did cheat on him first after all…..

Wait a minute….why am I here again?

Because my dear ex-husband, God bless him, decided to ring me up in the middle of the night (after I have not heard from him for so long), sounding frantic and muttering something like…..

'You have to come over to Seattle now….! This is an emergency! I need your help…'

And I recall answering him sarcastically…. ' So now you call me, when you need my help?'

'Addison…..please this is important' he had said.

'What is it?'

' There is a patient here who really needs your help. She is 3 months pregnant and suffering from H1N1 superimposed pneumonia. Could you help her please?'

' What do I get as a payback?'

'What?….Addison…please….'

'Ok.' I sigh. 'I'll be there tomorrow.

' Great! Thank you so much Addison… I would say that I love you, but that would be too weird…'

I smirk to myself. My ex-husband is such an idiot.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­________________________________________________________________________

I feel a pat on my shoulders. I turn around to see Mark Sloan grinning at me, looking as Steamy as ever.

' Look who is here! And looking as gorgeous as ever!' he grinned.

I roll my eyes. Some people can never change.

' I came here to see you' I say sarcastically.

' Yeah…right….' he laughs.

'So…are you still being a manwhore? Or has someone tamed you down? Because the last time I checked, you were with that Grey girl…' I tease.

' I'm still with her now' he says proudly.

' Oh wow, good for you! You have changed, Mark!'

' Yes I know' he beams. 'But unfortunately….somebody decided to ruin by brand new clean reputation by uploading that video of me onto Youtube…'

'What video?' my eyes widen.

' You know….that video…'

I keep my mouth shut. Better not let him know that I was partially responsible for the upload…. But that had been years ago, done as a spontaneous act of revenge against him, for ruining my marriage, twice.

We walk into the lobby of the Seattle Grace Hospital together.

Suddenly, a young pretty brunette, Mark's new love interest whom I had met during my last trip to Seattle, runs up to him and grabs his right arm, linking it with her left arm.

' I've gotta go now. See ya around!' Mark waves. I wave back.

The girl, suddenly noticing me, smiles at me. Such a sweet smile, maybe, just maybe she is the one person who can tame the manwhore?

I look around at the hospital lobby. Nothing much has changed, except for the fact that the reception counter and information counter have exchanged places and there were a couple more sofas at the waiting area.

And there is a new information counter and a new quarantine area being set up for the recent H1N1 outbreak. And many posters regarding the H1N1 virus were being pasted on the walls. And many people were sitting pensively at the waiting area, majority of them wearing masks.

________________________________________________________________________

I am now dialing Derek's handphone, but he isn't picking it up. Maybe he is in the middle of a surgery.

Sighing, I make my way to the Chief's office. Maybe I could drop by his office to give him a surprise.

I knock at the door.

'Come in!' says a gruff voice from inside.

I open the door slowly to see the Chief busy sorting out some paperwork on his desk. His office still looks the same. Even he still looks the same, except for more grey hairs on his head.

I am now standing right in front of him, hands on my hips.

He finally looks up, and exclaims in surprise.

'Addison!! What are you doing here? You gave me a shock of my life!'

I chuckle as I sit myself on the chair opposite him.

' Well….apparently my services are needed here….'

' Huh?'

'Derek called for me last night. Saying it was an emergency. But now I can't contact him.'

'Oh…he is scheduled for a craniotomy at this very moment. Should be finishing soon.. What, an emergency?'

' I don't know. That's what he claims.' I shrug.

' So….anything new here?' I ask. 'Besides the H1N1 pandemic?'

' No….it's just the same old….'

'Really?' Somehow I can sense that he is hiding something from me. But whatever it is, I am going to find out sooner or later.

________________________________________________________________________

I am now standing at the walkway connecting the administrative department from the rest of the hospital. I am looking down at the lobby and just taking in the scene before me, like I always loved to do when I was working here.

'Addison!' a voice startles me. 'Great to see you here!'

Dr. Miranda Bailey, an old friend of mine, is standing in front of me, hands on her hips, a wide smile on her face. She looks pretty much the same since I last saw her a few months ago.

' Bailey! Great to see you too!' We hug.

' So…what brings you here to Seattle Grace? Must be something big……' she says as we walk into the Seattle Grace hospital together.

' Well….Derek called me at the middle of the night pleading me to tend to this pregnant H1N1 patient. Claims that it was an emergency. Sounded rather frantic….'

Bailey is silent now. I turn over to look at her. Suddenly realizing that I am looking at her, she quickly shrugs.

' So…what's new for you?' Bailey asks.

' Nothing much…..same old….same old….' I chuckle in reply. Sam and Naomi are still keeping me entertained with all their bickering and what not… But I love it there…'

'So how have things been in Seattle Grace?'

Bailey pauses for a moment.

' A lot of things have changed here, Addison. My babies….I lost one of them, and I almost lost two more….'

' Your babies?' As far as I could recall, she only had one baby. Had she suddenly reproduced two more in the span of two years?

' Umm…yeah…my babies. My interns, who are now residents…..'

' Ahh yes….your interns. What happened to them? I thought they were doing fine last time I saw them. '

'I…gosh…it's too much to tell right now. O Malley, he got into an accident. Stevens has skin cancer. And Grey, she…..' her voice trailed off.

I try to digest all the information that she is telling me.

'Wait…you mean….O Malley….'

'Yes, he was knocked down and dragged by a bus not too long ago…. He……gosh I don't wanna talk about it!' Bailey's voice is now quivering.

I put an arm around her shoulder. Apparently, she has been through a lot lately.

' So…how are they now? Are they ok?' I finally ask after a long pause.

Bailey wipes the tears from her eyes. ' Do you want to see them?'

I nod.

________________________________________________________________________

I am now standing outside Room 313 of the Oncology ward with Bailey.

She knocks the door.

' Come in' says a familiar voice.

The door opens to reveal Alex Karev, the intern turned resident whom I once had the hots for. It was all just in good fun though.

But now….he looks like he has just been hit by a hurricane. His normally neat hair is uncombed, there are dark rings in his eyes and he looks….worn out.

' Karev….look who is here….' says Bailey.

'Dr. Montgomery?' it is more of a question than an answer.

He pulls me into his arms.

'I've come here to visit….'

I didn't finish my sentence as I am greeted by an excited squeal.

' Dr. Montgomery!'

Izzie Stevens was propped up on her bed, her head wrapped in a blue scarf, looking very pale, but excited to see me.

' Please just call me Addison.'

I walk over to her bed side and give her a warm hug.

' So you've finally forgiven me for keeping you up all night with the baby whom I knew couldn't be saved?' I joke.

She rolls her eyes and laughs.

' Addison.' she sounds serious now. ' I have cancer. Stage 4 metastatic melanoma. It's invading my body. I feel fine now after chemotherapy and radiotherapy and surgeries….but…..'

I hold both her hands as she continues.

' I don't know how long I have to live.'

' You still have a long time to live, Izzie. You're a fighter. I've known that about you ever since you were an intern. That's why I had chosen you initially to be my intern during those days….' I say softly.

' I just want to get better.' she says. 'Alex hasn't been eating or sleeping well for a long time, it hurts me to see him like this…'

' You're lucky to have him..' I say, looking over at Alex, who is now smiling at himself at the remark.

' Congrats on the wedding, by the way…'

They are such a lovely couple, they do not deserve what is happening to them now, I think to myself.

' The Chief says that I might be able to start work again if I get better soon.' Izzie smiles.

Just then, my phone rings....and it is Derek calling…

_______________________________________________________________________


	14. Nothing Personal Addison's POV2

**I've just made a few slight alterations to chapter 13. **

**This is the continuation of chapter 13…..**

**Addison's POV2**

'Derek' I warn as we stride in a fast pace along the Seattle Grace corridors. 'You still have yet to tell me the exact reason why you called me. I still don't know why I am here. Although visiting old friends is a pleasant experience….'

' You'll know soon enough' he mutters, without looking at me.

I am starting to get annoyed. What is this? Is he playing a game on me or what?

We finally reach Room 201 of the Intensive Care Unit and stop outside the door.

'This is the patient I'm talking about.' Derek says finally. 'She needs your help. _We _need your help. So if you would be so kind enough as to examine and follow up on her………You'll be in my good books for the rest of my life. And I promise I'll erase any negative thoughts I ever had about you……'

I look at him and smirk. 'Should I take your word for this?'

I enter the room…and gasp in shock.

There lying on the bed is his… slutty intern mistress.

'Meredith?'

' Addison?'

Despite of himself, Derek is chuckling at the bewildered expressions on both of our faces.

' Mer....' he says walking to her side…. ' You know that Addison is one of the best, if not the best Obstetric surgeon in the country. ' She is here to help take care of you and our baby….'

My ears prick up at the mention of the last word. _Baby?_ Their baby? Oh my. The adulterous love child of an adulterous whore. This time, my statement is true.

'But..ummm…she hates me…' Meredith mutters.

I chuckle to myself. She's so innocent. Maybe that's the type that Derek likes.

I touch her right hand.

'It's ok' I say. ' Right now, I'm a doctor and you're my patient. So my job is to treat you accordingly and make you better. All personal feelings aside. Besides that's one of the job description of doctors too….to put personal feelings aside.

I waste no time in taking Meredith's vital signs, which seem normal. No sign of hypertension, tachycardia, and her temperature, which according to her temperature chart had been spiking high a couple of days ago is now back to normal.

'Lungs and heart are clear too' I say, as I sling my stethoscope around my neck.

Meredith and Derek smile at each other.

_Focus, Addison, focus…all personal feelings aside. I tell myself. _

'So..umm….how far along are you?' I ask, trying to sound casual.

' About 13 weeks now…..' they were smiling at each other again.

Bad images are now entering my head, and I try to shake them off.

' Any symptoms….you know … such as nausea, vomitting…..'

' Yeah…the usual morning sickness….but other than that nothing…..'

' Have you done your antenatal booking?'

' Yeah….last week….the blood tests everything was fine….'

' Had the first ultrasound scan done?'

' Umm….' she looks at him. 'No, not yet…'

' Wanna do the scan now? Are you guys up to it?'

Damn, they are both looking at each other again, with the lovey dovey look in their eyes. And now they are holding hands. I look away.

' Yes, can we?' Meredith finally answers.

Soon, I was squeezing gel onto her still flat stomach.

' It's a bit cold' I warn. She smiles.

I move the wand across her belly until I see something appear on the monitor screen. Small, but still it is there. _The adulterous love child of an adulterous whore._

No. I shake my head. This is their baby, a result of their love, and they both deserve all the happiness they can get.

I move the wand slightly, until the faint sound of a heartbeat could be heard.

Now the heartbeat sound is getting louder and is filling the entire room.

Meredith has tears in her eyes and looks up at Derek who has tears in his eyes too.

I think I can feel my eyes beginning to water too. Damn it.

' There, your baby.' I finally muster the courage to say.

' The heartbeat is strong, organs seem normal from what I can see.'

' Is it a boy or a girl?' Meredith suddenly asks.

' Umm….it's still the first trimester so it's a bit iffy' I say, surprised that as a doctor, she

doesn't know that the baby's gender cannot be determined this early in the pregnancy.

' I know….just... asking…..' she giggles.

' Let's do the dating scan since it's most accurate in the first trimester' I say.

'So….' I say 'You're 12 weeks along and your expected due date is….14th February….

' A Valentine's Day gift' Derek murmurs.

Just then, his pager decided to beep.

'Crap…I've gotta go' he says.

He gives Meredith a quick kiss on the forehead and smiles at me as he walks out of the room.

And now I'm left alone with Meredith.

For a moment, there is a tense silence between us. There are so many words left unspoken, feelings kept hidden inside.

' I can't believe he actually called for you.' Meredith finally breaks the silence.

' Yes, I'm here now, and I can't believe it either' I chuckle.

' So you're still going to treat me even though you hate me?'

' Meredith….'

' Just kidding….' She smiles

' You know….Derek is already so in love with this baby' she says, when there is another silent tension. 'He talks to it every night even though I still don't have a baby bump yet'

' I bet he's going to make a great father' I find myself saying. ' You know, I had always dreamt of having his babies….'

' Yeah, he's going to be a great father' Meredith smiles again.

' But….I don't know whether I can be a great mother'.

' Why not?' Oops….wrong question.

She looks like she's gonna cry. Oh uh.

' But Derek is just so great. I don't know why such a crappy person can deserve such a caring and wonderful person like him.' she is now sobbing quietly.

' I just….I don't know….I guess I don't want to be like my mother, I don't want my kid to end up just like me….'

I take her hands into mine. It surprises me how insecure she is.

' Mer, you're not a crappy person. Who told you that?'

' I'm not?' she wipes the tears off her eyes, looking surprised to hear such a statement from me of all people. 'Well, I guess not then, it's just then sometimes I feel like I am.'

'I just let the people I love slip away from me. Mom, George…...'

'Well, at least Derek is still here with you….' I offer.

I sit there, holding her hands for a while, not believing myself that I'm actually doing this. Me, Addison Montgomery, here in Seattle Grace, comforting my ex-husband's new love. Who would've thought?

But then again, I have to admit that I'm glad that Derek has found his true love. He seems happy now, and seeing him happy keeps my heart at ease. Thanks to this woman whom I want to hate but I just can't bring myself to hate. Damn.

' I'll give you some folic acid pills' I say finally. ' And some suitable antibiotics for the pneumonia'

' And I'll monitor you throughout your pregnancy…until the postpartum period…'

She grabs my right hand.

'Dr. Mont….I mean Addison…you don't have to do this, you know….'

' Yes, I have to. You're my patient, and I'm your doctor.' I say firmly.

' I don't know how to thank you…..'

' By taking good care of my ex-husband…..'

________________________________________________________________________

A while later, I'm at the hospital chapel. Don't ask me why I am here, I somehow just love it here- it's peaceful and quiet.

Somebody walks in. I slowly turn back, to see Dr. Callie Torres, the feisty latino doctor who is also a good friend of mine, standing at the aisle of the chapel.

' Addison!'

I smile and beckon for her to sit next to me.

We both sit side by side, staring at the big cross sign before us.

' Why are you here?' she asks, smiling.

' Because I'm actually trying to save the life of someone whom I'm supposed to hate. And I need lots of courage to do that. Does that make me a saint?'

' I'm here because I'm in a relationship that is being disapproved by my father. Does that make me a sinner?'

We exchange knowing smiles.

________________________________________________________________________

I am at the hospital lobby….preparing to leave. I am about to pay a visit to George O Malley's grave. But I'll be back every so often from now on….to check on Meredith.

A young blonde girl, looking about 13, with shoulder length hair and a bright smile on her face, walks over to me.

' So you're a doctor here?'

' Yeah…..well..no…I mean….I used to work here…..'

She looks confused for a moment.

' Oh ok….well…I'm just wondering whether you happen to know somebody working here by the name of Dr. Isobel Stevens?'

' Yeah…I do. You're looking for her?'

She nods. Suddenly I see the resemblance. The same eyes, the same smile……

She is now joined by a middle-aged couple, clad in branded summer wear.

' Hannah….we were looking for you.' the lady says.

' I know mom, I'm just asking this doctor here where she is…'

The woman smiles at me and I smile back.

' Do you want me to show you her room?' I offer.

_**And…look who is back now! ;) I hope you enjoyed the chapter…..and I would love some reviews please! : ) I thought that Addison returning to Seattle Grace would be a breath of fresh air to the show and to the story (since everybody loves Addison). And I decided to put a little bit of what I've learnt during my current Obs posting into use. **_

_**Also….have you heard the latest news? Congrats to Ellen Pompeo and her hubby Chris Ivery on the birth of their little girl…Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery.**_

_**And last but not least….Grey's is back!!!!!**_


	15. Dear daughter of mine Izzie's POV

**Finally, the POV that I have been wanting to write, but keep on postponing, as I thought it is a very important one. (Izzie is a very important person in George's life, remember?). I wanted it to be a good one….Anyways, here it is finally! **

**Also, did you watch the premiere? It gave me many fresh new ideas, which I might incorporate into this story……**

**Izzie's POV**

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. The five stages of grief.

Apparently, I have been through all five stages, twice. The first time after I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Mestastatic Melanoma. The second time, after I received the news of George's death. George O Malley was my good friend, he was my best friend. I don't know what happened between us eventually, but we blew it all away……I don't wanna talk about it. Because it makes me even sicker than I already am to think about it.

In the end, acceptance is what we all aim for, because it gives us a peace of mind.

' Can you breathe in and out for me everytime I place the stethoscope on your chest.'

says Bailey. She is alone with me in the room, Alex has been called to scrub in a face transplant surgery with Mark Sloan.

'Well, your lungs are clear- no rhonchi, no crepitations, no dullness on percussion….'

she says.

' Heart is clear as well- no murmurs heard….'

I smile.

' So does that mean I do not have cancer anymore?' I ask, feeling hopeful.

She clears her throat 'Well, it means that your cancer is in remission. You are still a cancer patient, but it is not spreading anymore.'

' So what now? Do I still have to continue chemotherapy, radiotherapy and all that….'

' Yes, we'll still put you on a milder dose of IL-2 for the moment, just to be safe.'

' No more surgeries?'

' No more surgeries' she smiles at me.

' Bailey? When can I return to work?'

She sighs. 'I'll have to confirm with the Chief. But ier f everything goes well, maybe you can return to work next week…'

' Next week! Cool! I'm so bored just staying in this hospital room. I can't wait to get back to work!'

'You ok?' Bailey asks when I suddenly look upset.

' Yeah….it's just that….I don't know….I feel like George shouldn't have died. I survived, he should've survived too.' I sigh.

' Sometimes, I feel like I am the one who should be dead…'

' Stevens- don't you ever say that! You deserve to live as much as O Malley!'

I just smile weakly in reply.

________________________________________________________________________

Just then, there is a knock at the door.

' Come in!' I say.

The door opens to reveal Addison Montgomery.

' Somebody is here to see you' she says with a coy smile.

Just then, a young blonde girl, looking about 13, appears at the door, followed by a middle-aged looking couple.

She stops and stares at me, suddenly looking frightened.

The woman is now placing her hand on the girl's right shoulder.

She turns to the woman, saying 'It's ok mom, I can handle this.'

The woman who apparently is her mother is now talking to me……

' This is Hannah, your daughter. She has been asking for you for months.' she says nervously. 'Is it ok that we bring her to see you?

For a moment, I am dumbfolded. My daughter, the daughter whom I gave up for adoption 13 years ago, is now back and is standing right in front of me.

'Sure' I say finally, trying my best to sound calm.

' We'll be waiting downstairs at the lobby' the woman says, kissing Hannah on the forehead. Addison mouths 'good luck' to me and motions for Bailey to follow her.

Now, I am left alone with Hannah.

We remain silent for a while, not knowing what to say to each other. There are so many things that I want to say to her, but my mind is racing and my throat feels dry.

' _Hey Hannah, I am your mother and I gave you up for adoption 13 years ago, because I was 16 years old then and I was stupid enough to get knocked up. I couldn't afford to look after you, I couldn't afford to make a decent living for you, so I decided to give you up. Because I thought that was the right thing to do. To give you a better life with people who would love you and can afford to give you the good life you deserve and let you experience all the wonderful things in life.' _Hmm…I can't really say that, can I?

I clear my throat. 'Hey Hannah' I finally say. 'How are you?'

_How's life treating you? Are your adoptive parents treating you right? Do you get bullied in school? Or are you one of the popular kids? Are you happy now?_

' I'm fine, thanks.' she smiles.

I beckon her to come nearer. She walks towards me hesistantly.

Since I still don't know what to say to her, I just give her a big hug. _This is to show my love for you. One day, you'll understand, this is for your own good. Even though it broke my heart and it still does, sometimes. _

' I just felt that I had to come and see you.' she finally says. ' I don't know why, just a strong feeling.'

I stroke her blonde hair. ' You know, I've never forgotten about you. Sometimes I wonder how you're doing and about your whereabouts…'

' Really?' she looks at me with those blue innocent eyes.

' Then why did you give me up for adoption, Mom?'

_She is calling me Mom._

' Because I love you. Because I think that's the best for you. You'll understand one day, Hannah.' I hold both her hands in mine.

' Mom, looks at your hands! There are needles stuck into them. They stuck needles into my hand too when I was sick…. Are you sick, mom?;

I sigh. How am I supposed to tell her I have cancer?

' Yes, I was, but I'll be fine..' I smile, trying to reassure her.

' You'll be fine, just like me.' she smiles back. ' I was sick 2 years ago, but I am fine now. Because someone had donated bone marrow to me. _And that would be me, your own mother. _

And two weeks ago, someone donated a kidney to me…'

'Oh…that's great, Hannah! Those people must be very generous souls….'

' Yes, I wish I know who they are so I can thank them.'

What a sweet girl. The adoptive parents had done a great job with her.

' How's school, Hannah? Have lots of friends?'

' Great! I love it. I am in the cheerleading team.' She says excitedly. 'And I love Maths and Science. Maybe I can be a doctor in the future, like you!'

I laugh. She's so full of spunk and energy!

Suddenly something crosses my mind.

' Are your adoptive parents treating you well?'

' Yes. They treat me like their own daughter.'

' You must be a good girl for them ok? They are your parents too.'

' Mom!' she laughs.

My maternal instinct suddenly kicks in.

' Are you hungry now? What do you love to eat?'

' It's ok mom. You're not well enough to be up and about.'

We spent hours catching up on all the lost years and exchanging contacts.

­­­­­­­­­­­­________________________________________________________________________

Later that day, I'm still in my room, with Alex.

' I want to go to the cafeteria.' I say. 'I'm starving.'

' You wait here, I'll go down to get you some food.' he offers.

' No.. I'm going down too. I am bored to death now and just want to get out of this room even if for a while.'

' But Izzie….there is the H1N1 virus everywhere, you might catch it…..'

' I'll wear a mask…'

' But Iz….'

' Please, pretty please? Say yes to these cancery stricken eyes….'

' I said no!'

I am now taken aback.

' Look Alex….' I finally say. 'I know you love me and you're trying to protect me and all that. But seriously? Not even allowing me to get out of this room? This is too much.'

' Izzie….I'm your husband, and you'll do what I say. So if I say no, it means no..' he sounds firm. 'You freaking coded in my arms, Iz! Do you want me to go through that again? Huh?'

I sigh in defeat.

________________________________________________________________________

_A few days later_

I am again alone in my room, feeling bored as I flick through the TV channels. Seriously, does every single channel have to show a couple either kissing, making out, or having sex? I throw the remote down in frustration.

There is a knock at the door.

' Whoever this is, your presence is very welcome. I really need some company right now!' I say aloud.

Cristina walks in, followed by Meredith. Mer plunks herself onto the couch, while Cristina is left standing, looking at me with an amused look on her face.

' Mer…! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be resting in bed!'

' I'm doing fine now, Iz.' She smiles. ' H1N1 free!'

' I wish I can say I'm cancer free…' I say. 'But being in remission works too, I think.'

Cristina is still staring at me.

'What?' I ask, annoyed.

' You look better now. Pink. I think the old Barbie is back!'

I roll my eyes and smile.

' Bailey says that I can start work tomorrow. Yay!'

I lift up my hand to give her a high five.

' I don't do high fives.' she says.

I groan. ' Mer, don't leave me hanging…'

' I am going back to work tomorrow too!' Meredith high fives me.

' Mer…you're glowing!' I say suddenly. ' Pregnancy suits you well.'

' That's what everyone says. But I don't like the throwing up part….'

' It'll be gone soon enough….'

' Apparently McBaby doesn't like burgers or fries or anything oily' Mer groans.

' Does McBaby like hair products?' Cristina asks suddenly.

' Sorry, just wondering….'she shrugs when Mer looks at her questioningly.

' Wow, did you hit the shack together with McHunt?' I ask Cristina, pointing to the mark on her neck.

She covers it instinctively with her hands.

' Umm…no….not after he almost strangled me again….'

' Well, Alex is suffocating me too, in his own way.' I say. ' He doesn't allow me to leave this room...'

' And Derek is suffocating me mentally and emotionally. He is all over me all the time, I have to practically beg for him to leave my side for his surgeries and I have to plead him to answer his pages.' Mer complains.

' Men are stupid' Cristina concludes.

' Well, George wasn't stupid' says Mer suddenly.

' Yeah, he wasn't. He was smart, he always knows what we girls want.' I add sadly.

Just then, a frantic looking Callie Torres walks in.

We all look at her questioningly.

' I have some news.' She says catching her breath.

' Rumors are floating around that due to the current economic crisis, the hospital is planning to cut down on the expenses, including the staff pay. I heard that their might be a downsize….'

We stare at her blankly.

' You don't get me? This means that we all have to work harder, work our asses off, so that we wouldn't be the next to get fired!'

'So who wants to scrub in with me on my tibial realignment surgery?'

All three of us raise our hands quickly.

**There you have it, Izzie Stevens is back in action! Reviews make my day ;) **


	16. I'm back Izzie's POV2

**So I've finally finished Obstetrics posting. The most busy posting ever, and fun but frustrating at times. There were times I found myself feeling discouraged, but still I have to move on. Anyways, I can't wait for Psychiatry posting next!**

**About Grey's, I still managed to keep up with the latest season so far, and am loving it so far. Chyler Leigh surprised me the most….she shows that she can actually act, when Lexie is put in the spotlight.**

**And here is the next chapter which you have been waiting so long for.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters on Greys. Neither do I own certain scenes in this chapter.**

**Izzie's POV2**

'Please Dr. Torres, may I scrub in on the surgery?' I ask, a sweet smile plastered on my face. 'I have been out of action for as long as I remember, and I really need to get back on track.'

Callie stares at me for a moment, before finally saying' Alright, Dr. Stevens. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning, do not be late. Make sure to check on the patient first, and prep him for sugery. Here are the details....' she shoves a file into my arms.

' I want in too!' Cristina suddenly chimes in.

' Yang….only one resident is allowed….you know that…'

Cristina gives her trademark scowl. 'So much for having a roommate'

' You're back, Iz!' Meredith says, patting me on the back.

'Yep, I am!' I say happily.

________________________________________________________________________

'Hey, how do I look?' I ask, approaching Cristina and Meredith who were standing at the nurses counter charting. They both look up at the same time.

I am wearing a blonde shoulder length wig.

' You look great, Iz!' says Meredith, giving me an encouraging smile.

' Yeah, no one would even notice that it isn't real' Cristina chimes in.

I smile happily to myself, glad that I am now back at work. I feel fine now, just slightly dizzy once in a while. But as long as I continue taking my medication regularly, it should be fine.

I stride confidently into the room where a 20 year old male was lying miserably on the bed, his leg propped up on a pillow.

'Hey, Bill Robertson right? I'm Dr. Izzie Stevens, I'll be taking care of you…'

________________________________________________________________________

'Stevens can you help me hold the leg please?' says Callie.

I swiftly hold up the right leg of the unconscious 20 year old male in front of me, and watch as Callie carefully joins the two ends of the broken tibial bone together.

' I just don't get why they always have to play rough.' She mutters to herself, as she inserts the steel rod into one end of the bone. ' When you play too rough, this is what you get. Why do people have to be so competitive even during play?'

' Because that is human nature', I shrug, still holding the leg. My arms are beginning to ache badly, but I'm trying to withstand it. I can feel sweat starting to pour out of my forehead, but I ignore it.

Just then, there was loud knocking on the door.

Callie frowns, obviously not happy about being interrupted in the middle of surgery.

' This has better be an emergency, or else…..' she mutters.

The door opens, and my dear husband Alex pops his head into the room.

' Izzie, it's 3 oclock.' He says firmly.

'So?' I answer.

' So? It's time for you to take your meds'.

' I'll take them once I scrub out of surgery' I say.

' Dr. Torres, how much longer will the surgery take?' Alex asks Callie bravely.

' Another 2 more hours'

' Iz…you have to come out and take your meds now'

' Dr. Stevens, go…I don't want this argument in the OR, not while I'm right in the middle of surgery' Callie frowns.

I sigh…and walk out defeated to the scrub in area where Alex was waiting.

A while later, I'm back in the OR, feeling rejuvenated.

The surgery is progressing well so far, and now Callie is beginning to stitch back the muscles and skin.

I am beginning to feel drowsy and woozy, maybe it's the side effect of the drug I'm taking.

Suddenly, I see him. Standing next to Callie. With his brown sad eyes staring at me.

I stare back at him, standing rooted on my spot. His lips slowly curve into a smile. He places a finger in front of his lips, as if to tell me to kept quiet about his presence.

I smile back knowingly.

'Stevens? I said you can put down the leg now….' I am jolted back to reality.

I did as told and look up again. He was gone.

' Stevens, are you ok?' this time, Callie's voice was filled with concern.

' Yes, I'm fine, Dr. Torres'. .I decide against telling her that I just saw her ex-husband standing beside her.

Just then, I feel the walls of the OR begin to spin, and I see black.

_____________________________________________________________________

I open my eyes. Maybe me being in the OT with Callie Torres was just a dream after all, because I am back on the same old hospital bed in the same old hospital room. Nothing has changed.

I look around the room, and see my husband dozing off on the couch.

'Alex' I try to call out, but my mouth is dry and perched.

'Alex!'

He literally jerks out of the couch.

' Iz, you're awake! You passed out in the OR'

' I need water'

He returns with a glass of water, and sits beside me, a look of concern on his face.

' I told you, you are not ready to go back to work yet'

' But I'm fine. I need to go back to work.'

' But Iz…you're not fully recovered yet…'

' I know….but I have no choice. I don't want to lose my job!' I sound desperate.

Alex sighs and holds my hands in his.

' Don't worry….I'll take care of you. I'll earn the income and I can support both of us. Your health is more important.'

' Then how are we ever going to get a house of our own? With the income we are earning per month, do you think that's enough, Alex? With Mer and Derek being married and all, I think it's time we move out and find a place of our own.'

Alex remains silent this time. I know he is deep in thought.

Just then, Bailey and Derek walk in.

'You're awake.' says Bailey.

She proceeds to check my vitals.

' You have a fever.' she announces. 'And tachycardia too. We are going to take your blood again, and do some kidney and liver tests on you. You, Stevens, are confined to bed rest until further notice.'

' Do you have any headache? Dizziness? Blurring of vision? Weakness of limbs? Because if yes, we're going to have to do a CT and MRI on your brain again.' Derek chimes in.

' That's not fair!' I cry out. ' I just want to get better and go back to work!'

Bailey, Derek and Alex exchange glances and look back at me sympathetically, not knowing how to respond.

My lacrimal glands start to fill, and soon, I release small desperate sobs. This isn't fair. But life is never fair, isn't it? The only place where things are fair is maybe heaven.

Maybe that's the place where I should be in now….

Just then, on cue, he appears again. This time, beside Alex. There is a mixture of intense feelings boiling inside me now, a mixture of horror and surprise. Part of me wants to reach out and touch him, another part of me wants him to go away.

' O Malley' I finally say.

Everyone looks at me in surprise.

' George. He's standing beside you now, Alex.'

Alex jerks his head and looks around him in horror. He looks so comical, I just have to let out a giggle despite of myself.

' Not funny, Iz.' He scowls. 'So not funny.'

' He was there.' I insist. 'But he's gone again now.'

' Stevens….are you starting to hallucinate again?' Derek asks suddenly. 'Because if so, we'll really need to scan your brain again.'

I know what he actually means is that I might have another metastases in my brain that needs to be removed.

' Yes' I sigh. 'Except that this time I see George, and not Denny.'

________________________________________________________________________

The next day, Bailey comes back, holding my medical file.

' Your blood tests are back, and it reveals that you have anaemia and also leucocytopenia. Your creatinine levels and LFT levels are raised again, and the abdominal scan and brain MRI revealed new mets in your kidneys and livers. I'm sorry, Stevens, but the mets have spread again. '

I remain silent for a while, taking it all in.

' I'm going to die, aren't I?' I finally ask, trying to sound calm.

' We'll do everything we can to remove all the mets.' Bailey answers earnestly.

'Bailey? Is it ok if I don't go for any more surgeries? I'm just….I'm just tried of being cut open again and again. Especially if the mets are going to keep on coming back.'

I say weakly.

' Stevens are you just giving up like that?' she asks quietly.

' No…it's just that, I'm tired.' I say. 'My body is battered, I can't take it anymore. I …I just want to die in peace.'

This time, Bailey has no answer.

Just then, Alex bursts in the room, followed by Meredith and Cristina.

Alex was holding…..wait a minute, what was he holding in front of him?

' Happy birthday, Iz!' they chime in, as Alex places the birthday cake on the foot of my bed.

I smile weakly. If this was to be my last birthday on earth, it'd better be spent meaningfully with the ones I love.

'Make a wish' says Mer.

I close my eyes and wish…wish for the remaining days of my life to be blessed, with the people I love, and for me to be a blessing to those around me, during the short time I have left. I wish, for a peaceful death….to meet George again in the near future….But I also wish…that I do not have cancer anymore, and that I can be healthy and live a normal life and be back at work….

When I open my eyes, my medical file was on my lap.

'Open it' says Bailey.

I look at her questioningly, slowly opening the file.

On the top was the results of my full blood count, liver function tests, renal profile and MRI scan.

I stare at the results in front of me again and again.

They were all clear, all normal.

I look up at the people gathered around me again.

' You have been given the all clear' Bailey smiles. 'Your fainting yesterday is due to the side effects of the medication. But other than that, you're fine. You can go back to work again soon'

' Sorry for the birthday shock. I just wanted to see how you would react' says Alex grinning.

I punch him hard on his back. 'Owwww! he retorts.

'This is so not funny guys' I say.

And it is true. I really thought that I was going to die, and I was even mentally prepared for it.

But now, I have many reasons to live. I'll live each day to the fullest from now on, as if it were my last. And I am blessed to be surrounded by all the people that I love.

' You and Alex can stay' Mer's voice brings me back to the present.

' Thanks Mer' I say smiling.

' Anytime.'She shrugs. 'That's what friends are for.'

Just then, all our pagers beep, including mine.

'It's 911.' Cristina frowns. It must be an emergency.

' Why are we all paged at the same time?' Alex wonders out loud.

We all look at each other, a feeling of dread in our stomachs. Bescause there is an unspoken code in this hospital that whenever all of our pagers beep at the same time, it means that something bad has happened to one of us.

**Lol, what a scare, right? Actually I almost thought of bringing the mets back, but then decided against it at the last minute. ;) And yes, what do you think has happened?**

**Anyways, reviews are love!!!**


	17. Author's Note2

**Author's Note:**

Just to let you faithful readers out there know that I haven't forgotten about this story at all. I just have a writer's block- and am concentrating on my studies as well as writing some oneshots.


	18. Helpless Meredith's POV2

**Sorry I haven't be updating this story for soo long! I was being caught up with work and also oneshot fics. **

**So as a reward for your patience, here's a brand new chapter. **

**Thanks for the reviews, they make me want to continue, so do keep them coming! **

**Meredith POV2**

I look at my brand new sparkling pager. It is from 911, meaning that it could only be an emergency.

'Beep…beep' now Cristina's pager is beeping too, and so is Alex's.

We all look at each other, the unspoken word of dread in our eyes. I now have this dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like butterflies. My instinct tells me that something is horribly wrong.

We all rush down towards the A&E entrance ….leaving Izzie and the cake behind.

'Hey!' I could hear Iz say. 'Why are you all leaving me and my cake behind!! Great, this is just great!!'

But I've more pressing matters to attend to at the moment. There is an emergency, and we've all (sans Izzie) been paged.

The ambulance is already at the entrance as we arrive. Cristina, standing behind me, helps me to tie my apron.

The ambulance doors open and a paramedic wheels a woman who was bleeding all over her abdomen I could see there was some blood oozing out from beneath her legs as well.

I used to boast that I'm made of steel- the sight of blood never scared me a single bit. But now it's different, I feel faint and woozy. Blame in on the pregnancy hormones.

I take deep breaths and try to keep my focus. From a distance, I could hear the paramedic mention… 'Jane Doe, looking to be in twenties, suffering from severe bleeding from the abdomen after being shot by a robber. I think he was trying to rob her handbag…'

'Did the robber get caught? Did they manage to get away with her handbag?' asked Bailey.

' Yes, he ran away with it.'

' Darn these people!' Alex says angrily, causing Cristina and I to look at him in surprise.

' I think she might be bleeding pervaginally as well. We need to check whether there is any evidence of sexual assault' says Bailey with a serious tone in her voice.

* * *

Remember, ' Airway, Breathing and Circulation' says Bailey as she intubates Jane Doe.

Meanwhile, Cristina was checking for a pulse.

' There a pulse present' Cristina says. 'Weak, but it's there.'

'Ok good' we need to stop the bleeding and stabilize her.' says Bailey. 'Grey, can you find the source of the bleeding?'

I look at the stomach, where the most blood seems to be coming from. I lift up her blouse and see a bullet hole in the epigastric region of her abdomen. Blood was pouring out from it, and I'm starting to feel lightheaded again.

'Yes, there is a bullet hole there' I announce, as Alex and I turn the patient on her side to check for an exit wound at the back. 'But…there is no exit wound, which means the bullet is still inside the body cavity.'

'Crap, we've to remove the bullet asap!' says Bailey. 'I'm scheduling for an emergency surgery.'

Cristina and I press towels and gauze on the bullet wound, preoccupied with our own thoughts.

' Who in their right mind would do such a thing to an innocent person?' I ask finally.

Cristina shrugs. ' The world is crazy as it is. Maybe she's not that innocent…you never know….'

I frown at Cristina's nonchalant attitude, as I proceed to wipe the blood off Jane Doe's face. She seems to have delicate features, a very pretty woman, I must add, as her features become more apparent. I suddenly stop what I'm doing and step back, inspecting her face. The sharp nose and chin, the long dark hair, the earrings….

Suddenly I let out a scream and the ceiling begins to spin.

'Lexie…' I mutter the world turns black.

* * *

'Mer…wake up!'

I open my eyes to see Cristina looking down at me. I was still on the floor, I must not have been unconscious for long.

'Bailey is coming….so are Owen and Derek..'

'Lexie… it's Lexie' I mutter again.

' I know…we know…' they're all on their way. It's the best team we have. They're going to save her…'

She helps me back up to my feet, not letting go as she was afraid I would stumble and fall again.

' My head hurts' I say as my best friend leads me to a nearby couch to sit.

Cristina disappears and returns a while later with a bottle of mineral water.

' Here, drink this. You'll feel better.'

' She's my sister' I say simply as I take a sip from the bottle.

' I know'

' She's the first person I actually consider as my family. I…what shall I do if I lose her?'

' You wouldn't. We wouldn't lose her.'

I look at Cristina in the eye. 'Since when do you play nice?'

' Hey. I'm your person. I'm being supportive here. This is me being supportive.'

I lean on her shoulders and she lets me.

Bailey, Owen and Derek appear a while later, a gurney in tow.

' We're scheduling for an emergency surgery now. Abdominal scan revealed the location of the bullet' says Owen.

' And it revealed something else too in the abdomen' mutters Bailey.

Cristina and I look at each other puzzled.

'I'm calling Addison too…' the sentence was barely audible, but I heard it.

Cristina is now looking at me wide-eyed.

'Yang, you're scrubbing in' Bailey says to Cristina.

Cristina nods and quickly stands up, ready for action as always.

This is my breaking point, I can't take it any longer.

I stand up on my feet and walk over to face the trio.

'I'm scrubbing in too' I say.

'Grey, no. Family…..' Owen was the first to speak.

' But I've to save my sister and my nephew or niece!' I cry out.

' Mer…listen to them. You're in no condition to scrub in.' says Derek calmly.

'No..no… hey wait!' I call after them as they push the trolley towards the Operating Room. ' This is my sister you're talking about! If anything happens to her, you're responsible!!' I cry out as they disappear into the OR.

I let out a sigh of frustration and sit back onto the couch, feeling more helpless than ever.

I'm her family, and yet there is nothing I could do to save her. Except to wait and pray.

* * *

I must have been sitting on the couch in a daze for goodness knows how long, because I jumped startled as I felt a gentle pat on my back.

' You're still here. Do you want to go home and rest?' I look up and see my dreamy husband looking down at me, concern in his eyes.

' How's Lexie?' I ask immediately, as if it's a reflex question.

' She's stabilized now, they got the bullet out and they stopped the bleeding. She should be fine.'

His voice sounded calm, but unconvincing. I could sense that he's keeping something from me.

' Are you sure she's fine? Everything went well?' I probed.

' Yes, now you can go home and rest…'

My green eyes met his blue ones. I just keep on staring at him, as if trying to squeeze out the truth from him.

We have an unspoken code like other married couples do.

Because he totally understands what I'm trying to say, and he sighs in defeat.

'But there was some damage done though.'

'What?! What happened….' I was half afraid to hear what he is about to say.

' She lost her baby….'

I stare at him in shock. I lost my nephew or niece? I couldn't believe it. She didn't even tell me that she was pregnant. Damn it….

Suddenly it is all too much for me to take. Tears are starting to well in my eyes.

'I…I….I can't take this anymore' I let out a sob. Derek quickly pulls me into his arms and leads me to the nearest on call room, and locked the door.

'Ok…' he says as we both sit down on the bed. 'Now you can cry all you want'

I look at him suspiciously.

' Cry' he says. 'Let it all out of your system'

Silence.

'We are being cursed' I finally say.

'What?'

'We're being cursed. Me and my friends and family. All bad things happen to us. _I'm_ being cursed. Bad things happen to all those around me, all those close to me. First Izzie has cancer, then George dies, then now Lexie….what am I going to do if something happens to you or Cristina?' my whole body is shaking.

I begin crying again and he pulls me close to him.

' Derek…I'm scared… I'm scared to lose either you or the baby…'

' Shh…Mer…it's ok… nothing is going to happen to me. Or our baby…' he adds, rubbing my barely visible baby bump wedged in between us.

My sobs grow louder, interposed with hiccups.

' I…I…can't breathe…' I say, panicked.

He grabs a plastic bag from a nearby drawer.

'Here, breathe into this….'

I breathe into the plastic bag, and my breathing becomes calmer.

Just then, Derek's cellphone rings. He groans, as he retrieves it from his pocket and looks at the caller ID.

'Crap' he mutters.

' What's wrong?' I ask, still holding the plastic bag to my mouth and nose.

'It's Mark. What do I tell him?'

' I..I don't know.'

Derek suddenly stands up and walks over to the door.

' I've got to tell him. He deserves to know. It's his girlfriend and child we're talking about. You stay here get some rest ok?'

I'm left alone in the oncall room, feeling helpless and feeling as if the whole world had just crashed down upon me.

I look down at my barely protruding belly and rub it.

' At least I still have you and Daddy' I whisper softly. I'll take good care of you, ok?'

**Ahh…the drama! Hope you enjoy this chapter….I'd really appreciate more reviews!!**

**Next chapter would be a long overdue Mark-centric…**


	19. Teardrops Mark's POV

**Mark's POV**

**I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! Ortho posting is crazy! But thanks for your patience- I'll now reward you readers with a brand new chapter! With some Ortho stuff in it as well, I just can't resist :p **

Have you ever had one of those days when the whole world just crashes down on you? One minute you're high, and then you come tumbling down to an all time low. Yeah, you know what I mean. That's life, right?

Ok, let's me tell you what exactly happened.

* * *

I was in the operating theatre busy fixing a skin graft on a patient who had been in a motor vehicle accident and suffered from multiple injuries, including an open fracture of his right tibia and fibula and a communited fracture of his left neck of femur.

Callie is standing next to me, having just done a bone graft on the patient.

'I don't understand' says Callie. 'His fracture is still not united after 1 year.'

'Maybe it hadn't been reduced properly. Or maybe there is an infection, that could cause a non-union too' I suggested.

'I've already tried closed reduction of both fractures, wound debridement had been performed, antibiotics had been given, patient had been put on traction and internal fixators.' Callie frowned.

'Well, complications like infection, non-union and malunion happen all the time'. I say.

'You've done everything you could, now let's focus on reuniting this fellow's bones'.

'Wow, Mark, you've changed!' Callie says suddenly. 'You know what to say to make me feel better. Looks like somebody has changed you for the better…'

I grin to myself. 'Well, ever since I'm with her, I feel like I'm a whole new person...you know….'

'In fact, I'm planning to propose to her..'

'Oh! Wow….that's great!'

'Do you have any ideas of how to propose? Well, besides the whole taking her to a romantic dinner and bending down on one knee thing…..'

"Well, it's your proposal, you decide'

"She makes me so happy, Callie…'

'Well, good for you' Callie said sincerely.

Just then, Owen enters the room, a weird look on his face.

Callie looks up at him. 'Owen, the patient is fine….we've got him….'

To my surprise, he simply gestures for her to come with him.

'Alright, looks like I'm done here….Mark this patient is all yours…' said Callie as she ripped off her mask and gloves and followed Owen out of the operating room, a questioning look on her face.

As I continue stitching the skin graft, I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn't right, but I just can't place my finger on what it is.

* * *

After the surgery, I franctically paced up and down the corridors of the recovery wing, trying to call Derek. But he wasn't picking up his phone.

'Pick up your phone, damnit!' I cried, almost wanting to slam my brand new Nokia phone on the ground.

This area of the hospital was eerily quiet all of a sudden. No familiar faces to be seen, only a few nurses around. Where is everyone?

Suddenly, as if on cue, Derek appeared right at the other end of the long corridor. He walked with purposeful strides towards me, a solemn look on his face which scared me.

'Derek, what's the matter?!' I cried. 'Wh…..'

'Mark, I've something to tell you..' The tone of his voice was dead serious. Something tells me he isn't playing around.

He pulled me to a nearby seat.

' Lexie…' he began

' What about Lexie?!' I cried out, ' Where is she? I haven't seen her around the whole morning'.

' She's been shot…' he said slowly and softly. 'But she's stable now, they've got her. She's in capable hands.'

I try to digest this information. Shot?! My Lexie has been shot? No, he's got to be kidding me. This is a bad joke, a very bad joke.

'Derek, you're kidding, right?' I look at him straight in the eye, searching for any giveaway signs that it was a lie.

But his blue eyes just stared back at me sadly. Crap.

' I want to see her!' I said suddenly. 'Where is she? Bring me to see her!'

'Hunt, Bailey and I have just performed a major surgery on her, she's in the recovery room now.'

'Bring me to her!'

Derek finally relented.

* * *

My heart skipped a beat when I laid sight of my beautiful girlfriend. She was almost unrecognizable, lying still on the bed, her face as pale as death, under the IV drips infusing normal saline into her, and the blood transfusion drips. She was attached to a ventilator, and her breathing sounds filled the entire room.

Suddenly, I wished that it was all just a dream. A very bad dream. I pinched myself hard, hoping that I would wake up from this nightmare and find my dear Lexie safely cuddled beside me in our comfy bedroom.

But instead, I let out a yelp. The pain was real.

I shook my head. I've never felt so helpless before in my life. Before, my first instinct was to run. But now…. I walked over slowly to Lexie's bedside. I look down at her pale face, which was still as beautiful as ever. And took her right hand with my two hands.

* * *

And right now, I am talking to her.

'Lexie…Lex…I know you can hear me. Listen, I know I'm a manwhore and I haven't exactly been the best boyfriend to you….but I just want to let you know that I love you. Yes, I love you so much, more than you know. So please…please do not leave me.

You don't get to leave me alone here in the world, because that's just plain cruel. I don't think I can get on with my life without you, Lex. Because you mean everything to me.'

I think I saw a slight flutter in her eyelids, but I'm not sure. So I continue.

'Lex, you are the first and only person who is able to see me for who I am and change me to be the person I am today. I owe it to you, Lex. Before I met you, I was this….manwhore…but you changed me. You single handedly transformed me into the decent person I am today..'

Before I know it, tears are forming in my eyes. I wipe them off ashamed, and a teardrop falls onto the palm of Lexie's right hand.

Just then, Lexie begins to stir. I look at her in anticipation.

A while later, she opens her beautiful hazel eyes to look at me.

'Mark…' she whispers.

'Lex….I'm here…' I say. 'Everything is alright, I'm here.'

Her eyes dart downwards, as if she was searching for something.

'Lex, you ok? Just lie back and rest' I say, rubbing her hand. 'Do you need some water to drink?'

She doesn't answer me.

Instead, she mutters something inaudible.

' What is it?' I ask, leaning nearer to her.

' Baby….' she says finally. 'Baby ok?'

' Huh?' I look at her puzzled. 'What baby?'

She looks at me, a worried look in her eyes. 'Our baby.'

**I hope you like this chapter! Do you agree that Mark is a changed person because of Lexie? ;) Anyways, coming up….(most probably) Lexie and Derek's POVs, as well as some Callie and Arizona stuff….and Izzie and Alex as well…and more hospital drama..**

**Meanwhile, I would love more reviews please….reviews motivate me to continue this story. ;)**

I


	20. Sinking Lexie's POV2

**Hey guys, sorry it's be so long since my last update.. Life got in the way…Paediatrics posting, the big End of Semester exams which was mandatory to pass (and thankfully I did), Chinese New Year celebrations and a vacation…..**

**Anyways….thanks to all of you who are still interested in this story, for all your comments and reviews, they mean a lot to me!!**

_She doesn't answer me._

_Instead, she mutters something inaudible._

' _What is it?' I ask, leaning nearer to her._

' _Baby….' she says finally. 'Baby ok?'_

' _Huh?' I look at her puzzled. 'What baby?' _

_She looks at me, a worried look in her eyes. 'Our baby'_

**Lexie's POV2**

Mark stands totally still, blinking his eyes and staring at me...

'Our baby?'

I look at him confused.

' Where am I? Where are we? What happened?'

' You were shot and you lost a lot of blood Lex…. But you get some rest and you'll be fine…' he took my hands in his.

Feeling as if someone has dealt me a blow on the head with a hammer, and stabbed me on the stomach, I close my eyes. I'm so tired…so so tired… I just wanna sleep…..

* * *

_It all comes back to me like a dream, a flashback.._

_It was one of my rare days off work but I had a mission to accomplish. Striding purposefully into the neighbourhood WalMart store, I head right to the section where an entire shelf was stacked different models of pregnancy test kits. Grabbing one of each type and tossing them into the basket, I hurry off to the payment counter. My heart was beating so fast, I think I was having palpitations. I don't recall being this nervous or excited in my life before. As soon as I had them secure in a plastic bag, I rush over to the nearest Ladies restroom. I know, I should've just brought them home, or even better wait for Mark to come home, but I just couldn't wait any longer. The suspense is killing me._

_5 minutes later, I was leaning on the walls of one of the bathroom stalls and staring at the stick in front of me, which results would change my life forever._

_And the two bright pink lines staring back at me were as clear as day._

_10 minutes later, I was walking out of the building, feeling like I was walking on air. Mark and I are going to be parents, and although my condition would most probably disrupt my career somewhat, I can work around it. _

_Who do I tell first? Mark? Or Meredith? Do I call Mark and tell him right away now? Or do I wait until he comes home tonight? What will his reaction be? Will he be thrilled?_

_With these thoughts racing through my mind, I was oblivious to my surroundings. Until I felt a gentle tug on my shoulder. I turn back just in time to see a well built Middle-Eastern looking man grabbing hold of my brand new LV handbag. _

_I pull hard on the handle of the handbag, no way was I going to surrender it to him. _

_The tug of war went on for a while, before I yell for help._

_In the corner of my eye, I saw a few heads turn our direction. _

_Suddenly, I heard a loud bang. And just as suddenly, I felt excruciating pain on my stomach. And the world turned black._

* * *

When I open my eyes, it's not Mark, but Bailey and Derek standing at foot of my bed.

'Hey Lexie, how are you feeling?' asks Derek.

' Like someone has pulled out my intestines and drilled a hole into my head' I say wearily. It's nice though that my brother-in-law is now on first name basis with me.

' Would you like some water?' chimes in Bailey, not waiting for my answer as she pours a glass for me.

Derek is now sitting at the edge of my bed.

'Lexie…we did some CT scans on your skull and it looks like you had some subdural haemorrhage. But we're already relieved the pressure from your brain, so you should be fine…'he smiles reassuringly at me, but I just sense that there is something weird about his smile, like he's trying to convince himself more than anything else.

Bailey now sits at the other side of my bed and holds my hand in her warm, sweaty palm.

She clears her throat. 'Umm…Grey…there is something I need to tell you. But…you have to be very brave about this..I know you are a strong person…

' It is the baby?' I intercept.

Bailey swallows and nods.

I can't bring myself to ask the question, but she answers for me…

'You lost it. I'm so so sorry…..'

I feel as if I was being pulled into a deep black hole and sinking like 'Titanic'. My heart- like it's been pierced by a sharp arrow. Even that fateful day I received the news that my mom had died due to the hiccups didn't compare to this. One minute I was walking on air, the next minute I was being crushed to the ground? How can it be?

I shake my head suddenly.

' No…you're kidding me right? This has got to be a bad joke….is it April Fools? And how did you know I was pregnant?' I know I don't make sense but nothing makes sense anymore.

Bailey just shakes her head and looks sadly at me and if possible it makes me feel worse.

I feel my entire body being to tremble. My arms and legs go weak. I feel as if someone has just ripped of my entire being.

And to my own surprise, I hear myself laughing.

' I was going to tell him… I was going to break the news to Mark today…now I guess I don't have to…' I say before dissolving into a fit of giggles again.

I stop giggling and start hiccupping.

Bailey, who has been keeping still and holding my hand all this while, hands me another glass of water.

Just then, Derek (who I didn't even notice leave the room) and Meredith enter my room.

My sister walks over to my side and smiles at me, a look of concern in her green eyes.

'Lex, you're awake! You ok? I was so worried about you..'

'Yes I'm fine' I reply monotonously.

She touches my arm lightly. 'You can always call me if you need anything.. or anyone to talk to….'

I appreciate her kind gesture, but I'm just in no mood for sympathy right now..

I find myself staring at her belly, which I swear was still flat the last time I saw it, but I can make out the outline of a baby bump now.

And that just stabs me in the heart ever more.

I look away from her.

'Sorry but I just can't bear to look at you right now' the tone of my voice comes out icier than I intended.

The room was silent for a moment, and then I hear a stifled sob before I hear footsteps leaving the room and the door closing. When I lift my head again I think I see from my window Meredith and Derek standing at the vacant nurses station, their backs turned in my direction and with him putting an arm around her shoulder.

Yes it hurts. But I'm hurting even more.

'Grey…I know you're upset' says Bailey, who is still sitting beside me. 'It's…..'

' My fault…' I say.

'What?'

'It's my fault I lost this baby. I should've been more careful… '

'It's not your fault, and you know that..'

'I should've paid more attention to my surroundings… should've given up my handbag instead…'

'Grey…'

' I….I was rude to my sister, but I just can't…can't bear to see her .pregnant while I'm not…. Does that make me a crazy person? Maybe I'm a bad person, maybe I deserve this….'

'Lexie…'

That was the breaking point for me. Bailey addressing me by first name.

Soon, I like a dam breaking, pouring out tears of sadness, heartbreak, disappointment, anguish, and wetting Bailey's brand new dark blue scrubs in the process.

* * *

In the English dictionary, there is the word widow and widower for people who have lost their spouse. There is the word orphan for poor children who have lost both their parents. But there is no specific word for parents who have lost their children. And no describable amount of grief too. It's like a piece of you has been taken away from you and would never be replaced back.

Now Mark is back in the room. He looks at me with a different look, an all knowing look. There is a hint of sadness in his blue eyes. That's how I know that he knows.

He walks slowly over to the side of my bed and sits down slowly on the chair. I just stare straight ahead, at white wall in front of me. We remain silent for a while.

' I..meant to tell you that day.' I say finally.

He nods.

' But that's not how it worked out…'

'I know….'

'I'm….so sorry Mark..'

'Why are you sorry?' he holds my hand gently in his.

' I...lost our baby… I lost our baby Mark'

' I know…' he looks at me sadly.

' We…we were supposed to be parents in 8 months time…'

' I know….it's ok..we are still young.'

'We are still young? What if I can never get pregnant anymore?'

'What if…' I start breaking down again…

Mark pulls me in his arms.

'It's ok….we'll get through this, I know we will. And someday, we will be great parents. I'm sure of that…'

I stay still and savor the feel and the warmth of his body pressed against mine.

Maybe I'll survive. Maybe we all will survive.

**I hope you like this chapter…comments reviews are very welcome!! And they make my day too...:) **

**Preview for the next chapter...**

_My beautiful wife glares at me in the cute way which always made me laugh._

_'Derek...we are NOT going to name our child after a species of bacteria..'_


	21. That's life Derek's POV2

**A special thanks to all of you who are still interested in my story, and especially to those of you to took the time and effort to review…I love you lots! :) Since it's the holidays and all….I present to you the next chapter!**

_I look away from her._

'_Sorry but I just can't bear to look at you right now' the tone of my voice comes out icier than I intended._

_The room was silent for a moment, and then I hear a stifled sob before I hear footsteps leaving the room and the door closing._

**Derek's POV2**

'Mer…you've gotta eat.' I plead for the hundredth time.

We are now sitting in the kitchen of our house…ermm..I mean her mother's mansion, and looking out at the window to the setting autumn sun. It was getting chilly, the first indication that winter is around the corner.

Meredith just stares out of the window watching yet another golden leaf take its suicide plunge to the ground.

' I'm not hungry'

' But the baby….'

'Neither is the baby…' there was something sharp and icy about her tone, almost as icy as Lexie's tone in the hospital room.

The chicken tikka baguette lying on a plate in front of her remains untouched.

I place a hand on her shoulder.

'Mer…I know you're upset. And so is Lexie. I'm sure she didn't mean it…she is just very devastated at this moment. Just give her some space ok? She'll come around….'

' She can't bear to look at me Derek….She hates me now…..It isn't fair that I'm still pregnant and she isn't'

' I know….but it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault. Life is never really fair..'

I try to cheer her up but I know that I'm failing miserably.

Meredith stares at the baguette and suddenly picks it up.

'I'm not hungry but I think the baby is starving'

I personally think that it's a rather offbase statement, as how would she know that the baby is starving if she isn't? Maybe new research have shown that fetuses send these signals, these impulses to their mothers brain telling them that they need food.

Anyways, at least she is eating now. I was starting to get worried that she was going to starve them both to death as she hadn't taken a bite of anything since that morning.

'Can we talk about something else?' she asks suddenly. 'Distract me Derek. Just distract me from the fact that I've lost a good friend of mine and lost a niece or nephew, another good friend is still recovering from cancer, and my sister doesn't want to talk to me.'

Of course I would do anything to distract her, because it was getting depressing hearing her list of catastrophies.

'Sure Mer' I stroke her long wavy dark blonde hair. 'What do you want to do tonight? Take a walk in the park? Go for a nice cup of coffee in Starbucks? Or better still….a date in the shower and bedroom?' I wriggle my eyebrows at her.

She starts giggling which makes me jump inside a little. I just love to see her giggle and smile.

' You pervert.' She smacks me at the thighs. 'You can't just abstain for one day can you?'

I pretend to pout. 'No, I can't. How can I abstain when I have such a beautiful wife staying with me?'

She blushes.

I pull her closer to me and smell the lavender scent of her hair. At this moment, I feel like I would do just about anything in the world to protect this beautiful woman in my arms and the baby that she is carrying inside of her.

As if it's an automatic reflex, my hand moves to the place where I know our baby is currently safely nestled in. I don't know if it's an illusion or what, but it really does seem as if our baby has grown overnight. I can now feel the soft curves of my wife's protruding belly when I rub it.

And Meredith just had to destroy our beautiful moment by muttering something inaudible.

'What is it dear?'

' I said I think we could start thinking about baby names.'

"Hmm…? I thought you wanted to wait until we know the gender?'

' Yeah…but we could..you know come up with several names for each gender first'

' How about a name which suits both genders? Like Sam or Charlie. Or Alex…'

'Alex? I'm sure both Alex and Lexie would like that' Mer giggled.

' Or _Shigella_ and _Salmonella_'

' Derek!' my dear wife exclaimes glaring at me in the cute way she knows how. 'We are so NOT naming our child after a species of bacteria!'

I chuckle.

Mer's face lights up suddenly.

' Oh yeah….how could I forget!'

' George for a boy…Georgia for a girl'

That sounds good. Great actually.

'Mer are you ok?' I ask when she winced.

' Yeah…I just…I feel something weird…I don't know like a butterfly or something fluttering inside me'

Then suddenly her face lights up again by the realization..

' Derek…it's our baby…I can feel it moving!'

* * *

Half an hour later, we were still sitting in the same spot, with me with one arm around my wife's shoulder and another arm around her belly and her with her head leaned comfortably on my chest. Her eyelids are starting to get heavy I can see, a term which we call bilateral ptosis as an inside joke. I have to smile, she looks even more lovely like this if that is ever possible.

A single noise startles me. Is that the front door opening? Are those footsteps? Is there an intruder in my house? My whole body tenses up...and I'm about to grab one of the knives from the kitchen…

And then I hear laughter from the hallway. Familiar laughter.

'Oh Alex…you're such a jerk do you know that?' Izzie's perky voice fills the hallway.

I relax again. I've almost forgotten that she is being discharged today.

Now both Alex and Izzie are standing at the kitchen hallway. Mer stirs beside me.

' Hey...Derek I am back home. I started working today…Bailey let me scrub in on a gallbladder removal' says Izzie happily.

' Good, would you like to scrub in with me tomorrow then? There is this kid with a type 4 astrocytoma'

Izzie whoops in delight as Alex groans.

' You're too hyper today. Seriously..'

'She doesn't know about Lexie' Alex mouths to me.

Beside me, I can hear a small voice….'How about me? I want to scrub in too….'

That's when I know everything is now back to normal again. Almost….

* * *

It's well past dinner and Mark and I are at our favourite hangout…Joe's. Meredith has good naturedly allowed me to accompany Mark after I received the call from him right after dinner. Anyways she should be in good hands with Izzie and Alex around.

Mark lifts up his glass of tequila shakes the glass watching the liquid twirl. I thought only the ladies drink tequila so it surprised me somewhat when he first ordered it. Now it's his fifth glass of the night.

I know there's something disturbing him, but he just refuses to tell me. Instead, we have been sitting in almost total silence tonight, him downing his tequila and me my whisky.

Finally he speaks up.

'I was supposed to be a father in 8 months time. A father. Who would've thought?'

'And if before, I would've bolted for the door and disappeared from the face of the earth if I've been told that I would be a father, I just…I don't know….I just somehow feel like I might've been happy, ecstatic even had Lexie told me'

'She changed you' I say simply.

' What?'

'You've a changed man now Mark Sloan' I say, as I give him a rough pat on his shoulder.

' And you have Lexie to thank for that. You almost lost her, but she is a fighter, she is back. And now you have another chance with her. Go back to the hospital and be near her, be there for her like she's always been for you.'

Mark stares at me, a blank expression on his face.

' Go…just go back and tell her how much she means to you…You both still have a bright future ahead of you..' I smile at him.

He smiles back. He pulls 50 dollar out of his pocket and presses it in my palm before he walks out of the door.

I am left alone now, reminiscing how I almost lost Meredith twice, the last time just a couple of months ago and how thankful I was when both times she came back to me.

* * *

The next morning, we are now in Lexie's hospital room again. Meredith insisted on me accompanying her, as she is afraid Lexie might hurt her feelings again and she might need me for comfort again..

Lexie isn't alone in the room. Mark, who I assume has taken my advice last night, is sitting beside her. They are both smiling now, which makes me smile too. But Mer looks weary and refuses to leave my side.

' Hey Mer…' Lexie was the first to speak. 'I'm…so sorry about yesterday, I just….I was really upset….'

Mer now sits on the bed beside her sister.

'It's ok…I know…you've every right to be upset….'

Both sisters smile at each other, which leaves me a warm feeling in my heart.

'Mer…you know what?'

'What'

' I had a dream last night. I dreamt about both of them.'

'Who?'

'George was holding a little girl in his arms. She looks to be about three or four. She saw me and she ran towards me calling 'Mommy'. She is so pretty Mer. Has long wavy dark brown hair…And he…he was so handsome in his army uniform…'

I think I see Lexie's eyes shine as she says this.

' Oh Lexie' whispers Mer.

' I know…I'm just..so happy now…. I know she's safe in heaven with George' Lexie smiles.

At what age are we when we're in heaven? I wonder. I mean if you die at old age, you aren't going to wander around heaven with wrinkles and a toothless smile are you? Or if you die when you're still a fetus, you're not going to wander around heaven being a fetus are you?

'There are some things in life we can never figure out' I think to myself as I follow Mark out of the room to give the Grey sisters some time alone with each other.

I didn't know I was speaking out loud until Mark replies

' Yeah…we can never figure life out. You just gotta keep facing bravely all the curveballs that life throws at you. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade…'

Ah…that is my favourite quote of the day. Maybe I could put that on my latest Facebook status or twitter status.

Arizona and Callie have just walked past us. There is a little girl aged about five or six in between them and they are holding each hand of the child.

And the three of them enter Lexie's room, as Mark and I stare at them and glance quizzically at each other.

**Preview for next chapter…**

'_?' Sophie asks in a small voice._

'_Yes dear?'_

' _When can I go home?'_

_I swallow hard. What do I tell her?_

**There you go….I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Oh yeah…just some random comments about the actual show…I really hope for a MerDer baby sometime soon. And I don't dig Lexie's new hairdo. Lexie is a natural brunette. **

**And…please oh please do review!! Your reviews are really important to keep me going writing this story. So yes, I really do appreciate your comments and reviews. : ) **


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